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[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First off, these guys don't sound respectful enough to be considered friends.
What concerns me more about this is your LTR allowed this behavior to continue right there in front of you even. Is she giving appropriate or flirty vibes to guys who talk to her? Why didn't she react and move his arm off right away?
If she's openly inciting jealousy with you, withdraw or next.
If its ambiguous that she's participating, up your dread game.
If she's shy and has trouble enforcing boundaries but is a worthwhile GF, help her learn how to deal with unwanted attention and see if she makes effort to implement it.
[–] points points points 56 years ago | Copy Link
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[–]Pedro_Navaja3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Use female logic against her. Girls don't mind being sluts, but what do they hate the most? Being perceived as sluts.
'Babe, (random person) came up to me and asked me if you and I where done because they saw you all over (random guy). I told them no and I didn't see anything, why would they think that?'
'Hahah babe, (random girl) was all over me at the party because she thought we where done, she said she saw you with (random guy) being flirty so she thought I was fair game, it was weird'
Etc.
You can't tell her directly, 'you're acting like a hoe' because she will be self conscious -> to fix her self esteem she deflects responsibility and blames you -> 'you're not letting me be myself and express myself in my normal ways!' = you lose.
You have to help her realize her actions are causing undesired consequences.
I am flirty with other guys -> girls are flirting with boyfriend
I am flirty with other guys -> everyone thinks I'm a hoe
She has to come to these conclusions on her own, you can show her the door but she has to walk through it. If you try to shove her through the door she will dig her heels deeper to defend herself (even though her defense is illogical) and blame you.
Edit: The goal for a LTR is to get her to wear her loyalty like a badge of honor. Like being the most loyal, faithful, untouchable GF = more Facebook likes.
Get her to like turning guys down. Turning guys down is her empowerment, the men prying for her and spitting game are all empowering her but what gives her the most empowerment is saying 'no'.
Even if he is more alpha than you, her current boyfriend, she has her deal and she's sure of what she wants. Than the scope turns to 'us vs them' mentality and both of you laugh together at the scum trying to part you.
'Hey babe, look at this HB 9 hitting me up on social media trying to get me, what a hoe' (dread game combined with relationship reinforcement) and she will attempt to get to your level, 'hey babe look at this dude chatting me up, like he has a chance'. She can learn to take joy in brushing off male attention because she knows they want her and can't have her. Ego meter to the max. You and her vs the world, everyone else is infantry vs your relationship tank. That's the desired mentality IMO.
[–]fakefalse0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think, that's the easy answer. Watch out for the male Hampster.
Either way, your bothered by what happened and need to make changes to ensure more of same doesn't happen again.
[–]Foctopus 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm new here, recently swallowed the rep pill and all, so take my advice with a grain of salt. This seems to be like a shit test, which you've already failed by being jealous, or she's planning on fucking one of em.
[–]ckp29061 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, i don't really see the problem. "Some talk to her" Holy shit, guys are talking to your LTR, red flags, abandon ship.
If she's fairly attractive, she should be swarmed.
Be indifferent. Don't show your feelz. Regarding the arm around her, where i'm from, it doesn't mean anything at all. You will have to valuate the level of contact/kino they are doing, and and accordingly, but never make a scene.
If you still think it's a problem i recommend you to visit/revisit the dread page.
https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/
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[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–] points points points | Copy Link
[–]Pedro_Navaja3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fakefalse0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Foctopus 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ckp29061 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link