Having conversations without expectations

WIA20XX · 2020-04-28T13:58:46+00:00

How do you escalate when you are just a normal guy having a normal conversation?

TL DR is that You don't "escalate", she does. And it's intermediate? indirect game.

Lemme give you a standard example.

So let's say me and you are at horse racing track.

Since we're betting on the ponies, I'm gonna ask you what horse you like in the next race.

You say you like #7, and I say that I like #9. And then you tell me WHY you like #7. I say why I like #9.

But then I say, because "My horse race betting mentor said to look for X,Y, and Z qualities in a horse". Then I say, I've been winning about 53% of bets lately.

Now, you're interested in what I'm saying. You want to win more than half of your bets.

You are going to ask me more about my betting technique.

When you ask me a question, You've escalated on me.

The conversation should have ended when I explained why I was going to bet on # 9, but it didn't. You thought there was some value in digging deeper.

If we kept chatting, we make our respective bets, and I end up winning some money on #9, you're really going to be interested in talking to me further.

And if I get stingy with my betting thought process, you're going to try harder to get me talk about it. Now you're hooked.

Thinking About The Social Dynamics

Now, let's rethink this situation. If you and I were standing in line at Chipotle, I could not start a conversation with you about horse racing. I don't know if you play the ponies, and me talking to you about that, while waiting for a monster burrito would be WEIRD.

A chat about horse racing violates the social dynamics of the restaurant space. (A lot of guys fuck up, not realizing that their game doesn't fit the environment - it's why I mention it)

There may be topics that don't violate the space. That's up to you to be creative.

There are some universal topics that can "bridge the gap" and making a conversation with a stranger normal and natural. There are also some frames/behaviors that allow her to accept a conversation and want to continue the chat. Frames and Universal Questions are a bit beyond the basic question you're asking.

Basic indirect game with a woman

You pick something to talk about that doesn't violate the social dynamics of the environment.

It's something that you want to talk about. It might be something that your passionate about. But it could be some bullshit. Sometimes the topic matters, sometimes it doesn't.

You start the conversation with her. Either you ask a question, or you make a statement that provokes response.

She responds. Out of social dynamics, out of courtesy, out of boredom. She just responds.

You continue with whatever you were saying, but something that you say makes her ask a question. She becomes invested in something that YOU started. There is nothing special about this, as it happens every day. The idea that a stranger can go from 0% to 2% invested in something another stranger says is not revolutionary. It's basically how our society works.

But that's where the Game begins.

Keep in mind, she doesn't want to sleep with you at this point. But she does want to continue communicating.

Her desire to get something from you - a simple answer/more communication - is the what brings her into your web.

What you say after she responds to can pull her further in.

As the conversation develops - part of her is listening to the WHAT you say, but a lot of her is listening to HOW you say it.

The unconscious part of her brain is processing all of this information, and it decides that it wants more.

The same thing is happening on your end. Your conscious brain is talking about stuff, and part of you is assessing her, and your animal brain is also assessing her nonverbal communication. Maybe you realize that she's not that attractive, or her breath stinks. Or that she's very fidgety.

The Buyer's Mindset in Indirect Game

Unlike a regular guy, that's trying to fuck anything in heels, you notice a woman's attractiveness, but you want to know more. Being attractive is not enough. And veteran players know very well how women use their appearance, voice, social dynamics, scent, etc to attract a man, and put him out of his rational mind.

The girl, who's now interested in what you're saying, has experience with PLENTY OF GUYS trying to chat her up. If she senses that you are having a chat, just to have a chat as opposed to talking as pretense to hitting on her - that OFTEN (though not always) drives interest.

Etc, you get the picture.

WIA

Domebeers · 2020-04-28T18:09:49+00:00

Escalating is normal to you, so you proceed normally

I really don't know how else to express the proper mindset.

2020-04-28T13:37:31+00:00

You need not have expectations, but you should have a purpose for any conversation. This is what defines and helps you maintain your frame.

Title	Having conversations without expectations
Author	jealousmelon
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	April 28, 2020 12:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g9mgyb/having_conversations_without_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/having-conversations-without-expectations.657403 https://theredarchive.com/post/657403

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