Summary:

Recently I've realised I tend to belittle (but never openly to them. Only thoughts) people who has no value(?) to me. Any exercises or recourses are much appreciated

Body:

For example, I have an uncle who likes to stay home all day and do nothing. He has 3 kids, turning 41 this year. He has no motivation to work, no motivation in life. My father (his older brother) constantly offers him work to do, but he doesn't want to do anything. In return, I tell my father I will do them instead. More info on my uncle: In the first sign of trouble, my uncle runs and avoids it. In the first sign of a mistake, he blames other people. It's never his fault. And honestly, I find this kind of personality and attitude revolting. I openly called my uncle, in front of my father, he's a piece of garbage.

He asked me why, I told him because he has the attitude of a kid and he's 41. Moreover, he has no value to me thus gets no respect from me. My dad then told me, not everyone will be of value to me but I still need to give them the respect they deserve.(We should always respect our elders in the Chinese culture). He also added by asking me if I am as good in making toy models as my uncle. Of course I'm not, he's awesome at it. He replied, "Exactly. So he's not garbage. If anything, you're garbage. You can't think of ways to make of value of his personal strengths." My father also gives another example of a person who earns minimum wage cleaning the streets. That they should also never be belittled. As they're helping the society in their own way; By cleaning the streets.

I have been trying to get rid of this mindset of mine. But all I've done is learnt to suppress the thoughts. Instead of having an open mind about this. On the other hand, if someone has value to me I will be as respectful as I can be. It's my attitude towards the other people I want to change permanently.

Not sure if this belongs to asktrp, but I respect the opinions of the people who lurk here and on the parent sub.

Is this problem a matter of not trying to control my thoughts? Instead focus on controlling on my actions towards them instead?

Cheers