How do I become more conversational?

lordofthejelly · 2015-05-13T20:24:12+00:00

Read. Read a lot. Watch documentaries. Listen to audiobooks. Learn shit. Do shit. It's difficult to talk about anything if you don't know anything.
Find reasons to approach people and start a conversation. Any reason. If the conversation ends awkwardly, forget about it and move on.
Ask people about themselves, and listen to what they say. Ask follow-on questions about their answers. What do they do, do they have family, what are their hobbies, etc. This takes practice, not going to lie. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

To make #2 easier, start by doing it non-romantic contexts. Personal example: I made it a rule that if someone at work was in the same building as me, I never contacted them by email or phone unless I absolutely had to...I always walk to their desk to discuss things in person.

There was less pressure because I already knew what I need to talk to them about, and so now I was approaching people, in person, at least 5-10 times a day.

At first it felt horribly forced, but after awhile it feels natural. Once it feels natural, it becomes natural. And once it became natural for me at work, it became natural in every other area of life.

Make sense? Getting to that point might look different for you, but the general principles still stand. Now go forth and conquer.

OverdoseOfRedPill · 2015-05-13T20:05:02+00:00

when you look at someone remember that they have a lot going on in their lives but they only speak the least amount possible to keep a conversation going.

redwormcharlie · 2015-05-13T20:32:24+00:00

Ask the questions out loud that you are thinking. You brain is working, you are just having reluctance to speak because you are somehow afraid of what they think.

I am in sales, you have to be the king of conversations, so here are some pre loaded simple starters I have:

What do you do for fun?

What are your hobbies?

If you were stranded on a desert island, what kind of fort would you make?

Did you see that [insert sports ball game] game last night?

If you were to meet yourself, what would be the first thing you ask yourself?

When it comes to women, go optional, ask their opinion about something, hell even if it is something about yourself, like your shirt. "Do you like my shirt?"

Keep the environment in mind around you. If in a bar look at the walls and pick something from it and form a conversation around it. If in a open location, look around, see something that makes your brain move and want to ask about.

From there, expand the conversation, if you have to left field a topic, fuck it, it's better than dead silence.

Title	How do I become more conversational?
Author	lawrenceisgudatpiano
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	May 13, 2015 5:58 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/35ur0s/how_do_i_become_more_conversational/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-become-more-conversational.148941 https://theredarchive.com/post/148941

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