When I was in my teens I had no trouble getting girls, almost never got rejected and I’ve never been anything special to look at, and that was the thing that broke my confidence. Met a girl who I guess was about a 7 and we stayed together for 3 years. During this time friends and family of hers would (in front of me) tell her that I was ugly and could do better.

Always knew I wasn’t going to be a male model but never considered myself to be outright hideous. This really fucked with me mentally, and I became freakishly insecure.. always accusing her of cheating.. if I really was so ugly and everyone was telling her she deserves better it was inevitable in my mind that she would. She broke up with me because she was sick of how I was acting and that was that.

I made my first approach a couple months later and the girl in question was interested initially but soon was taking a day+ to reply to messages so I thought fuck it. Didn’t approach anyone until 2 years after that, and I was smashed at the time. She wasn’t reciprocating at all, so I just told her I’d leave her be, and I bounced. She started showing interest in the following weeks after that and approached me, and I actually turned and walked away without saying anything. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to her because I know my personality is completely dead. I literally have nothing to say, and I’m pretty sure I have an underlying fear of being called ugly again thrown in there somewhere. I really don’t know how to “get back on the horse”. I feel like I’m too far gone.