I have this defense mechanism where I try to be quick minded and witty. When a girl throws a barb at me or I meet new people, I have this impulse to try and impress by making people laugh.

The problem is I don't have consistent wit. Sometimes it works and everyone loves me, sometimes I fall flat on my face and look stupid and desperate. In both cases I don't appear to be someone who is confident in himself and grounded in his energy.

So how do I balance that? how do I be funny when something funny comes to mind and just chill and grounded the rest of the time? In other words, how do I be the guy that CAN be funny but simply doesn't NEED to be funny? What if I get thrown a barb or teased and I can't think of a good response?