So i started my self improvement journey about a year and a half a go. Ive definantly become better. Ive gone from peeing in my toilet cause i was scared of people to living in a frat house.

I still have bad weeks tho filled with social anxiety and week frame, and ill have good bouts of strong frame. I know im not where i need to be ideally but i can feel myself getting better. But i was wondering how long will it take to fully have a strong frame? I notice sometimes all i want is to be considered cool by my frat brothers and earn their approval and other times i get the clarity that i shouldnt give a ahit about the approval of others.

My stats btw 20 m 5’5 150 lbs. 190 lb bench 1 rep 300 lb deadlift 1 rep and 200 lb squat 1 rep.

Im having a hard time deciding whether to bulk because i dont want to be to big for jiu jitsu tournaments and stay inside my weight range. Im very lean as of now.