Basically you know that feeling when you're out, say with a girl (or even with a friend), and then you notice her phone is blowing up with messages from her friends, she has a social life other than just hanging out with you, etc.

Meanwhile you realize you only get 1 notification from the weather app or something.. Lol like I feel my life is generally like that, even when I'm on my own I usually have 2-3 friends I chat with, and even then it's kinda infrequent. Plus sometimes even those 2-3 get shut out for a long time and die out, and new ones replace them. So I would say that I have a lot of 'acquaintances', but not really close friends..

Some relevant info:

I work out, dress well, do everything you would consider an 'alpha' type person would chase after, but my environment is generally super contradictory to that, so I feel like it's hard to balance those together. I end up not finding people I relate with, so I spend most stuff alone, until I meet someone who I vibe with very rarely, and then this thing I described earlier in the OP happens.

I tried to kinda embrace it, and just accept that I don't even wanna be that guy who's like a gossip girl or diva with people commenting and liking my social media lol, I'm not even talking about that or being a bisexual guy who has lots of likes and validation from others, I'm just saying I wanna have a close tight knit group I often communicate with, and be somewhat reserved and exclusive, not just open to anyone making friends. Just quality basically.

Because I feel like when I'm out with, again, say a girl, even if I'm super calm and cool and whatnot, it might still give off a bad impression if she notices you don't have much going on with your social life and nobody talks to you that much. Despite chasing a sick career, doing cool things, looking fit, good, etc..

Thoughts?