i’m depressed i honestly don’t really wanna live anymore lost all my motivation. quit my job. i’m unhappy in life.treated like a door mat from the mother of my child. i try everything to fix shit and everything always goes bad. it’s like life is out to get me. bad luck i’ve start to believe. here where this short story starts. so she asked me if we could go to target. to get the baby a easier basket and such. well she stared going around grabbing the most expensive stuff. and i don’t get paid that much i’m young paycheck not that good. everything came out to be. 65$ . i was 9$ short and she got mad and threw a big fit. and embarrassed me and made me feel like shit because i was 9$ short. so i just walked out of the store. she came out and and tried to hug up all over me and kiss me. keep in mind we are not together. but she does all that. then i dropped her off at her house and went to mine for a bit. and i was coming over to stay the night to spend easter with my daughter. she was all happy and said hey. i grabbed the baby and was watching tv with her. she came in a said hey can you help me clean my room i said sure. we cleaned the room. i was cutting up with her then it took a 180 out of no where. not even jesus himself was thinking what she was thinking. out of the blue got in this weird ass mood. like weird never seen it before. saying i can’t believe you cheated on me. now flash back 10 months ago. i was dealing with really really bad depression and anxiety. now i’m that didn’t give me the right to go talk to this girl on the phone. keep in mind i told her i wanted a brake. because i was so mean to everyone i was trying to fix myself. of course i still talked to her everyday she was carrying my kid. i called the other girl cute. blah blah asked to hang out. first off i bullshit i wasn’t going to hang out with her. i couldn’t leave the house without a panic attack. i didn’t like the girl i didn’t care for her. well to get me back she went out with one of my old friends while pregnant and said she had sex with him. and everything. am i proud of what i did no. did i cheat no. what she did was 100x worse. do i hold it over her head no o forgave her. and tried my best to let it go. but she brings up all the time i broke her heart because of what i did. THE DAMN PHONE. over going out while pregnant with someone’s so called friend. she says i’m the reason we will never get back together. i’m fixed myself i’m better but i’m depressed as shit. very very bad. she’s not her she’s out smoking weed. saying out till 12. now i’m not against weed if it helps you it helps you keep smoking. but that’s not her. it was never her. back when i smoked i smoked all the time and she smoked like 2 twice with me. she never likes the feeling. but now no. hanging out with people that’s no good for her. i don’t get we was so happy at one point. i don’t even yell at her when we fight. i talk in a calm voice and try to chill everything out. she told me last night to get the fuck out of her house and don’t bother showing up to see my daughter for easter. all because i said what she did was so much worse. i’m Verbalee abused. i just want everything to be ok. idk what to do where to turn.