I started this entire journey dating back a few years ago to try and become attractive. Reading pickup and seduction. Then I learned it was pointless thanks to my situation but even worse, not a single woman makes me want to work to get my dick wet. Ugly or hot. And trust me, friends looked at me in disbelief when I said I wasn't interested. (Before anyone asks, yes, I watch porn but it's once a week, including masturbation amount. Said videos are amateur, home made videos because I detest the promoted videos. I can't name a single porn star. Said masturbation is done without porn.)

A girl asked for my number to hang out at bars, drinks or just to have fun. I knew what she wanted but I couldn't fathom fucking her despite her being cute by others standards. Then I realized something.

I can't be bothered with women. (I'm not gay, mentally wired to be aroused by erotic photos or gestures of women if presented.)

I'm grateful for red pill for me to crack the bullshit veil women have and learn how a man should walk, talk and bark when needed. It made me feel alive and aware of the world but I find myself not needing to come here if I'm not interested in boosting my sexual power and value. And that's why I'm so confused. I got my confidence, inner game, happiness and life in check. But now there's this empty hole where I feel incomplete, a focus waiting to be placed on a particular object or goal.

I'm not asking others how to guide my life but considering how I came to this revelation, I'm asking for advice and input. I'm entirely grateful if one can give an honest answer in spite of this strange predicament.