1. Girl I'm seeing (kissing, sexual stuff, etc.) goes out with other dude while I'm abroad
  2. I lose frame and message her about it (stupid for multiple reasons, I don't need telling this) via text
  3. We then have a huge argument - she says what she feels, I say what I feel as well (again, I know not the best idea but I really just thought 'fuck it, it needs to be said' - it wasn't shit she wanted to hear either - she asked me how many other girls there are, and how I made her feel stupid by not responding when we're out and she says shit to me, etc.
  4. She calls me names and some truths come out about how things have been so far
  5. I tell her goodbye and say 'I am not going to put up with this shit', and explain why (not that I needed to explain to her) but I wanted it to be clear which boundaries she had breached in regard to the expectations set on day one
  6. She says that we can meet up to talk after vacation as we will both be calm then, and I say 'okay'

It's likely I've immediately been demoted some what in her eyes due to my stupidity. I know that's my fault here losing frame but I also think there's some hope given that if she really wasn't interested, then she wouldn't have kept responding or invited me to meet up after vacation when we're calm - she would have probably ghosted me or told me to fuck off or whatever.

Note: whilst not an excuse for my behaviour, I found out a family member is on life support with no hope so that's fucked with my head a lot also.

My head is clearer now and I am back on my mission after this fuck up.

What do I do next?

Here's my plan - please tell me if I'm going wrong:

  1. I know now that she is just a plate (I know she was before)
  2. Meet her - it's an opportunity to really assess the extent of the damage done
  3. After this, stop messaging her and flip it on it's head (I need to regain total control)
  4. Use text (as outlined in TRP theory) just for logistics to arrange shit
  5. Focus on my own shit, get on with other chicks and use that to my advantage
  6. Slowly build up again over time and go from there