I'm 19, discovered trp at 16, and went from zero to hero in a summer. I gained 43 lbs of muscle from 149 to 192 and started a business over the course of my senior year of high school.

I graduated in June, turned 18 in September, and moved across the country with 700 bucks minus the cost of the greyhound ticket. (Yes I took a bus from the east coast to the west). This was a massive risk that paid off immensely. Nothing has done more for my confidence and resourcefulness than that move.

In my new world I smoked a lot of weed and rarely lifted. I got a job paying me 14.50/hour to essentially pretend to be busy. Lots of autonomy and little supervision. I was lazy and loving it. Here comes September and I'm 19! Proud as can be of the new life I had created for myself even though all I did was face a fear and eat Ramen for a week when I got here.

I'm 19 and three days old as I go to drop my grandparents off at the airport. They say how they're so proud of me which only cements my false sense of accomplishment. We say goodbye and they cry because they miss me. Every weekend my whole life I had seen them, then one day I'm gone for a year, back for a weekend, then gone again. I get in my car and start crying too as I drive home before work starts. I'm so upset I have no idea how fast I'm going, get pulled over, and explain to the cop I'm not crying because I got pulled over. He didn't give a fuck either way and wrote the ticket. I go home, rip the bong, pep myself up in the mirror, and start feeling good. I head off to work thankful for life and everything else. I see this ass in tight shorts on top of long smooth legs. The girl was bent over and as I walked by I said hello. A gorgeous face with bright red hair pops out and says hello back. I smile and keep walking rationalizing that I'm sad today you don't need to talk to her. She's dressed like a whore but fuck it I'm sad.

Twenty minutes later that ass and face walk into the building I work apologizing for being late. She had just been hired. We got along great and hung out later that night. Long story short this ass and face quickly became my unicorn.

She truly is different and amazing in so many ways. One of them being an addiction to heroine. This combined with other occasional hard drugs leads to her insane mood swings and my urge for her to just shut the fuck up and smile which all equals out to crazy arguments. Hating and loving each other was just how we lived. And I should mention that we moved so fucking fast. Like living together in a fucking week fast. Literally.

As you can probably see by now I am a fucking grade A retard idiot. Grade A shitheads like us do hard drugs with their opiate addicted psychopath girlfriends. Honestly, they were awesome but I have an extremely addictive personality so I never allowed myself to use any consecutively. I never fell into that kind of addiction but it definitely contributed to me finally leaving in that it greatly effected my emotional frame while using.

To bring the story to a close; I leave her and drive home (like home home, across the country) crying like the little bitch I have become. I came home to a loving family happy to see me and I told them all I came home because I miss them. The real reason being I was to sad to go to work. A few months go by and I'm still sad as fuck, wishing I had a time machine, so I can unleave her. I figure I need a change so I move again. Still across the country but a little more warm. Right now I'm unemployed, out of money, almost out of food and gas, haven't touched a woman that wasn't a stripper since the unicorn, and rents due the third. I know what I have to do but I just don't want to and that honestly makes me just want to kill myself. Help me with that please.

TL;DR I'm stuck in a slump, but fuck you it's a good story, it's my story just read it.