Example 1: I met a friend of my gf over the weekend, and she was nice or whatever and ok looking blah blah. But later when my gf asked me about her in private at her apartment, I said yeah she was nice and ok looking blah blah. Then she said "just ok looking?" and I said "she's ok but she has a complexion problem her face looks like the surface of mars." To which my gf was flabbergasted, presumably at my irreverence. She then gave me mini-lecture on my being rude.

Example 2: We were at a park over the weekend with some friends and their kids. One of the dudes there is trying to be my gf's beta orbiters, he is a wimp and a pussy. He was there with his 4yo son, who is incredibly weak and scrawny and wimpy himself. Anyway I was playing and horsing around with the kids (including the beta orbiter's wimpy soon, I was nothing but nice to him), and the whole time the beta orbiter was trying to talk to my gf (instead of playing with the kids like a man like I was). So later I reprimanded my gf for engaging this loser like this, and I said "He is a fag and should be playing with his growing-up-to-be-gay son instead of gossipping with you like a little schoolgirl." This time my gf starting lecture me about saying "mean things" about the son. I was incredulous. I didn't say shit to the son (in fact I was very nice to and played with him), nor did I say anything to the beta orbiter. I was using hyperbole and speaking for effect in PRIVACY with her and her alone.

Am I unique in my irreverence like this? I only do this in private with people close to me. Do y'all do it? Is it reasonable for my gf to be offended at comments like this? I don't get it. The kid didn't hear my comment, nor did her friend -- why would my gf be offended? Who died and made her the politeness and PC police? I am curious to hear y'all's thoughts.