It’s literally only been 3 days of very nearly not talking to my live-in LTR, and she’s already kicked my ass. Person who cares less wins, right?

I don’t think she necessarily cares less but she has a winner personality. The second I talked to her today she smiled like she broke me. Christ. Lol. And she did for sure, haha.

It’s not the pain of losing I am talking about, it’s the pain of not maintaining a connection with someone I care about especially when she’s living right here in the same little fucking apartment.

This little experiment has proven that I am not lone wolf at all, and I am very socially needy. I think I already knew that.

On the plus side I got a lot of shit done. But irritates me because I’m the type who only does hard shit, so it’s not like I have any victory from it. Just grind that had to happen sooner or later toward an ultimate goal that’s farther out (quant finance shift from software engineering)

Anyway, fuck. This girl is not lost or anything, she’s just a ball buster and loves doing it.

I actually want to respect her for it, truly, and laugh with her all the way through telling her “ok so I expect you to move out.” I think it may just cross a line for me because I can’t live with someone who knows she can bust my balls with impunity. It definitely sets my head up for weakness in other areas and negotiations which will eventually catch up with me.

Actually I screened her decently well when we first started out about 2 years ago, she calls her family everyday and only says good things about me (even when we fight). But fuck I just can’t breed out the ball busting thing.

What do?