My biggest flaw

ColonelMitchell · 2016-01-30T02:55:24+00:00

My tip: I struggled with mild social anxiety for a while and what helped me get over it is treating anyone you talk to like they're and old friend. You just ask em how it's going,what they've been up to, all that. While this might not make you friends, cold approaching increases confidence and will help you with being able to think on your feet better.

Don't feel bad if you don't have something interesting to say, some people just like talking about themselves, and if not they'll likely appreciate you talking to them nevertheless.

I know that it's cliche, but start saying what's on your mind. It may be rough at first but after a while you'll get much more proficient at guiding conversations and making jokes.

callme-roy · 2016-01-30T13:25:02+00:00

I used to be in sales. Caffeine used to increase my sales tremendously. I'd talk to more people, handle things faster, and therefore get more sales.

I think the takeaway from your situation is you just need experience. Get out there and fumble over some words with some strangers and train your social skills just like you train your body in the gym.

I used to hate small talk because I thought it was stupid to talk about weather or someone job. Because we all know no one really gives a shit about that stuff. What you have to realize is those small pointless questions are the lubricant to deeper conversation.

CDBaller · 2016-01-30T17:57:08+00:00

There's only one way to fix this: you jump in. I've had problems with approach anxiety quite a bit. A couple weeks ago, a buddy took me out to a bar and gave me the "now or never" to approach 2 randoms. I had some liquid courage, loosened up and eventually just went for it, not really caring about whatever bullshit I said. I didn't go home with either. The conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. But I learned that they are more scared than you are. Approaching gives you all the power. But you need to take the plunge.

Innerouterself · 2016-01-31T02:45:12+00:00

Find a group hobby. Maybe join an MMA or crossfit gym. Activities mean you can interact with people without it being in long conversations.

Title	My biggest flaw
Author	iamokwithviolence
Upvotes	6
Comments	14
Date	January 30, 2016 2:37 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/43c911/my_biggest_flaw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-biggest-flaw.160057 https://theredarchive.com/post/160057

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