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[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like you need to develop a life . Congrats on attracting a cute girl but that is a small subset of life . I would suggest you develop a social life , you develop hobbies , you get a job or study something . If the only worthwhile thing in your life is a woman who isn't even into you anymore then really she should be the last thing you're concerned about .
As for the only getting semi-hard thing do you masturbate often or watch porn ? Do you think it may have just been performance anxiety ?
[–]Donehelppls0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yes I watch porn about once a day but since the incident I stopped. It may be but it felt so alien when we were both naked since it was only my 2nd time, something like before I thought I am going to cum early but in the situation it was like nice I achieved something and can get it but lost all my attraction at that point and couldn't get hard.
Yep I know its pathetic thats why it hurts so much more than if I had a decent life.. I thought to myself I could get together with her, we would talk, visit places, I would grow out of my shell more and more etc. and now it's all gone. I want to build a life but when you can't talk properly, etc. its really hard and no clue where to start.
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
what do you mean can't talk properly ? Also the issue is that you see the chick as a means to move forward in your own life, do you understand how much pressure and neediness that would put on any relationship ?
At the end of the day all you have is yourself my friend wonderful , beautiful , shitty , awkward, and evil , and good people will come in and go out of it but at the end of the day no matter who else is around you the only person on this earth you have is you .
YOU have to make YOU better for YOU .
You should read this : https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5zylt0/a_comprehensive_guide_for_success_with_women_and/
[–]Donehelppls1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I mean that since I was shy and all my whole life I have some kind of a mental block. For example when I approach someone or even order food, I prepare what I want to say repeat it multiple times and then say it only to misspronounce, stutter or whatever. Also I can't talk that eloquently. In my mind it's infinitely harder to fix my mental issues(shyness, talking, etc.) than any physical issues. As in if I need to lose weight or gain weight I simply do it no questions asked, same with my appearence(try different styles,waxes,and so on). Mental issues I just don't know what to do, the only way I see is to approach and talk to somebody but when I have no clue what to say, shit at smalltak, shy etc. its like going from 0 to 100% and fail miserably/be akward.
Will do, and I feel like when I manage to fix my issues and in return be more attractive successful,etc. and hot girls will want to date me I just want to treat them like shit as in if I can get somebody better than her I will simply drop her and go together with the next one. I don't know but that's how it feels right now, they seem to not give a fuck. Meet with you every time, kiss cuddle and out of the blue your like nothing to them... Funny thing is, before meeting this girl I thought maybe it was just the multiple past experiences and all this one seems nice and all but no exactly the same..
Note: also same with the porn thing, I watched porn daily but the moment I found out it's bad or can be a reason why I couldn't get hard I simply quit it. Another example of a thing that has a clear solution which talking,etc. doesn't really have. And I am willing to take a bet now that aslong as its beneficial to me I won't ever look at porn in my life.
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if you've read it but this Audio book helped me A LOT with self-esteem issues and my shyness. I was probably as anxious about existing as you were if not more, I uses to always think to myself " I breathe too loud , everyone must hate me " and yet no one has told me once in my life that I breathe too loud I just felt like my whole existence was an inconvenience to everyone else . If you feel like that I recommend listening to that Audio Book .
Beyond that just like anyone you have strengths and weaknesses, when it comes to losing weight or bulking you're focused, immovable, dedicated. When it comes to socializing you know it's a weakness and the only way to fix that is to do it more . My suggestion would be to go visit a ToastMasters club or something near you and if that's too formal then going to some sort of nearby social club and get used to talking with people . meetup.com maybe has something nearby ?
You may sound stupid the first few conversations but as your nerves relax and you have more conversations you'll become comfortable wit the idea of speaking. Also maybe you don't sound stupid, so many times I thought I came off like the village idiot but when I told people they told me that was never the impression they got, Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves we don't have a balanced view of the landscape of life. everybody has insecurities, everybody feels inadequate at some point , Instead of condemning yourself for not being good enough just become better.
That bottom part is a fucking waste of time you're going to treat a hot bitch like shit because she wouldn't have dated you when you were a loser with no social skills ? That's dumb , I get it, I used to feel that way , but that's dumb . The thing is by the time you become the person are thinking of who can easily pull hot women and chat with anybody comfortably you're going to look at this experience as a positive , as the starting point towards being a better man . Yeah it's shitty that women can be so shallow, yeah it's shitty that they can be emotional for you one second and then leave you high and dry , to be fair she did try to fuck you but you couldn't get it up for her , is she supposed to patiently wait until you can finally get your dick hard? No Feel free to be angry , feel free to be annoyed at vapid stupid bitches and their selfishness but know that ( whether you like it or not) there is a reason for it , it would be amazing if the world was an easy place where we all could be happy , loved, and treated well just because we're people but it's not . When you become a better man you will have a better life .
[–]Donehelppls1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the help :)
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
no problem and good luck
My bad here's a link to the audio book http://yourlisten.com/aceofplace/no-more-mr-nice-guy
[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Quit fapping to porn. Thats why you couldnt get hard with a girl.
[–]Donehelppls0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Already did after that my brother, just worried if I stop completely I will get a flatline which makes it even worse.
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[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Donehelppls0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Donehelppls1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Donehelppls1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Docbear640 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Donehelppls0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link