this is based on my life I need guidance and advice as I am heading the wrong way. Throw account

A little physical details Ok so 18 year old male in college. 5'10 175lbs at 16% body fat, bench 245x5, deep squat 225x4, deadlift 235x10

anyways I'm decently good looking, European and hispanic but I need to get my act together.

Background: Raised single mother. My biological father abandoned me and my mother married someone else Move to a new city every two years, lived in different countries but moved to America at 10. From what I remember is when it went down, I started getting bullied a lot and got bullied all my middle school years, also very overweight. Did well in classes tho but it's middle school so what did it matter. Transferred to another middle school/city 8th grade and I got bullied there also but not as frequently

Then high school came. Freshman year was a little better, lost some weight and finally got a gf.(for my objectives at the time) But still got bullied at times. Was happier tho since for some reason I was getting some girls and looks a lot. Transfers again sophomore year and never really got bullied until I graduated but was a nobody. Lost my virg sophomore, and did lose weight. Never a six pack but I was a little more on the buff side than others. Basically hung out with some kids for a while but was never "cool". Sat with the popular kids at lunch and stuf and I was the kid that was just there, no one awknoledged him or invited him to anything also had a gf sophomore and junior and went full beta to the point I barely made friendships at new school.

Senior year was the worst. Started taking lifting seriously so I dropped all the friends. Had a fwb and that's all I did. Did not hang out with anyone at all and I tried to hide in library during lunch, was a total loner.

Now finally college came and I have very low SMV, when I was expecting to be jacked and be in a good fraternity from the start, WHAM got the news I got low t. Was pretty much reason why I just could not gain muscle or lose the fat. Didn't jump on trt right away so I will get to that in a second. Well I got depressed, wanted my t high so bad I thought bulking was the answer so you know how that went.. Bulked and gained 35 lbs of fat over a semester, looked terrible. Did not raise my t either. Got Ina lot of trouble drinking also so I looked like the idiot. Senior year made me forget how to talk to girls so I look like an idiot and cannot get laid to save my life.. All my friends showing me vids and pics of em, and mocking me(oh you can't get girls) makes me feel like crap..I've tried I just can't(just like they say)

Anyways no fraternity right now, also lost control of diet this week, ate out every day and had buffet and 2 pies pizza in one day. You could say I'm an impulsive eater as I get stressed, down, slightly depressed and it makes me feel good for the moment but not in the long run, probably gained more weight. I did lose a lot this semester and plan to keep doing so but when thoughts like these pop up I lose it. Also dorm food doesn't help, as I was used to cooking my own meals back home

Got no motivation to study, no one respects me, I Don't go out, I don't get laid, I don't have a crazy great physique or anything about me.

I did start trt 2 weeks ago finally after months of trying, bad dosage so I have to wait 2 weeks to get it fixed . def blasting but that's something I won't talk about.

So my question out of this vent is how do I take all of this and do best? I need good specific answers for my specific issues, like I already do lift..and hard, yes I would get plates of I could, but I need to find a way to not lose control on my diet like that. Also what are some hobbies or things I can take that will help better specifically

Here are my steps that I'm thinking about:

Do HITT 3-2 days as it helps you burn more Cals and keeps you outside. Join a team sport, thinking tennis or rugby Join MMA or BJJ Go to sleep at 11-1 every night and Study every day Go out once a week Learn a skill(coding probably, maybe a language one of those) Find a stream of income somehow(don't have time for job due to school and if I take hobbies) Read one book a week that isn't from school(rp related) Any that you guys can think of specifically that I should do

Anyways off to run, haven't slept at all but need to go now. I'll toas a nap today and sleep early tonight