Never feeling ready or being enough?

St31nway · 2021-04-17T18:33:49+00:00

I have these same thoughts. You just have to do it. Remember the phrase “even fat dudes get laid”

TheDevilPutD · 2021-04-17T18:39:16+00:00

Some copy pasta:

Well, it's a complex thing really. While we judge women on their physical looks, they judge us on our behavior and social status. So just like a woman can lose some weight and get a makeover to make herself more attractive, so can a man improve himself in the confidence arena.

First things first. Key thing for you is self confidence. There are a few ways you can work on that and it will take time, roughly a couple of months to get to a point where it is automatic for you. It will involves changing your entire world view and how you see yourself.

First method is refocusing your mind. The mind is super powerful and works a bit like a muscle. Exercise it correctly and it will work to your advantage. Key takeaway is that when you ask your mind a question, it will filter through all your past memories and knowledge to derive an answer. Majority of people of course ask the wrong questions. Have you ever had a girl reject you and you go "God, why am I such a loser", and then your brain was flooded with a 100 different reasons and examples of you being a loser?

Well, we ask ourselves these disempowering questions all the time, why am I so bad with women, why am I so unattractive, why can't I stand up for myself, etc. What to do next?

Write down as many of these disempowering beliefs and questions as you can. Then write them out in the positive question format. Why am I such a loser becomes "Why am I such a winner", why do girls not like me becomes "why do girls love me and want to sleep with me", etc, etc.

Once you make the positive list, delete the negative. Then every morning when you wake up and the last thing before you go to sleep, close your eyes and go over these questions one by one. When you ask yourself a question like "why am I a winner", your mind will start digging through your past experiences and it will find examples of you winning. It will give you one or two reasons for why you are a winner. Then you move on to the next question, etc.

Do this for long enough time and it will reprogram your mind to only ask positive empowering questions and you will start believing the positive evidence that it finds to support those beliefs.

Another method you can do as well is to take everything that you want: for example, I want to be attractive to women, I want women to love me, I want to have success with dating, I want a girlfriend, and write these out as if you already have them. I am attractive to women, every woman wants me, I am so successful with dating, etc, etc.

The reason this works is that as long as you want something, you are telling your mind that you lack that thing. So saying I want to be attractive to women, kind of means that you lack attractiveness. This will subcommunicate to women that you are not attractive and they will intuitively pick up on it. But if you start thinking of yourself as having as opposed to wanting, you will become more attractive.

Repeat this list in the mirror every morning and at night before bed. Visualize what your new life looks like when you have those new beliefs. Again, you need to do this for a minimum of 30-60 days every day without fail before it becomes wired into your brain.

Last method is the letter of recommendation. Write a letter of recommendation about yourself in the third person from the perspective of a woman who is telling another woman why she should date you. Only write positive things in the letter, such as "he is really attentive and exciting in bed, he is in good shape, he is driven and ambitious and knows what he wants" etc. read this letter to yourself every single day.

I recommend you use all three methods at once, but if you are finding it too overwhelming start with one and see how it goes and as you build the habit, add others. Eventually everything will become habitual and it won't feel like effort at all.

Great! Now that you are on your way to solve your confidence issues, let's talk about women. I got a news flash for you Walter Cronkite. You don't need them. Sure, life is sweeter with them, but you don't really need them. They are icing on the cake. As a man, you can have your purpose and mission in life and they are more important than women.

As a matter of fact, they need you more than you need them. See, women are very emotional and have huge hormonal swings every month. They are weaker physically and super insecure. Naturally, they seek out men who are confident and strong, because they need the stability. They need some one who can be a rock. If you feel insecure, the last person you want to hang out with is another insecure person who will make you fee even worse. You want to be around someone confident because it makes you feel better. This is your value as a man. You provide direction, security and a calm port in a stormy sea.

Sexually, women get more out of us than the other way around. Women are capable of multiple orgasms, orgasming one after the other., clitoral, vagina, anal. Men's orgasms are once and done. If you are young and in shape maybe you can go for another round or two after you take a break. Never think men enjoy and want sex more than women do. It is simply not true. The only exception is if she's never had an orgasms before. So go and learn how to pleasure a woman so well that she will be begging for your penis and this should give you a shot of confidence unlike anything you have ever experienced.

So now that you have changed your mindset and feel that you have something of tremendous value to offer any woman you come across and furthermore, you realized what women kind of need you more than you need them, you basically have all the power. And that makes you extremely attractive. You will never have to chase a woman again. You only need to give them the opportunity to meet you and seduce you.

soltanparham · 2021-04-17T19:18:26+00:00

It's not always bad to fix something and then do something ! actually , if it's short term , it's even good! but most of the times it's an excuse and worthless !

it's good to say okay , i'm not wearing good clothes now and it's hot out , i'm gonna go home , dress well and get out in the afternoon and hit some bitches.
But it's bullshit when you say alright , let's put on 20kgs of lean mass , then i start approaching

it's like saying let's get rich and buy a bugatti , then i fix my instagram to pickup some bitches there.

what i do is i shoot once, and once i do , i can't quit

like the days i'm tired and i don't want to go the gym , but i hit the gym anyway and i say if i feel bad after 15mins , i leave , 99% of the time i complete my workout and stay for at least 1 hour , it works like that.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2021-04-17T20:13:17+00:00

This is Learned Helplessness by definition. "I don't feel ready."

Vegetable-Ad5980 · 2021-04-18T04:27:21+00:00

just do it tbh. if your not fat and not a slob just go for it. best thing my coach ever said. there is only DO or DONT there is no try. stop thinking over everything shut your brain off and do it.

Title	Never feeling ready or being enough?
Author	El3CtRiiCcZ
Upvotes	8
Comments	7
Date	April 17, 2021 6:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/msw3lq/never_feeling_ready_or_being_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/never-feeling-ready-or-being-enough.762931 https://theredarchive.com/post/762931

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