I watched the way my friend was pulling tonight and it seems like he just walks over to a girl and just starts grabbing there ass and they grind on him and he ends up making out with them etc.

If I did that I would bet I'd be slapped or something, maybe even end up kicked out the club. It's just so wierd how natural it seems when I watch him do it and he's done this multiple times in nightclubs, tonight he made out with at least 3 girls and could have easily even been 7,8 others who were diggin him and looking at him too.

I just feel really depressed when I go out because nobody seems interested in me. I know my smv is low, I've got a burn mark on my face too. I've been going gym and eating healthy, only problem is I'm at uni and I'm almost forced to go out and I always come back feeling super depressed because nobody wants to talk to me or seems interested in me.

I'm watching other people making out and having fun and im just alone not fitting in. I get ignored even by my friends on these nights out, they don't seem to introduce me or talk to me, include me in the convos. It feels like I have to but in the conversations to feel included. It feels like people are much louder than me and have social acceptance whereas im quiet and not as wild as them. Doesn't mean I'm boring but I don't drink much because my grandad died of alcohol so it's always been a negative thing to do for me although I still do drink, just not enough to be out my mind. Also I know if I did get drunk I'd have to make my own way home and nobody would really be there to help me as they live on the other side of my campus.

I don't get it. It honestly feels like there is some dark presence or enterty over my life or some sort of omen demon because it seems to be only happening to me. It feels like I morph into some sort of monster all of a sudden as soon as I step foot in the presence of women. That's the only way I can describe it, it's like they see something else to what I see or perceive me as some sort of beast. Im not just saying that because of my sadness, it honestly feels like that.

I know my smv is bad and to lift. I do that but during my uni experience I need to socialise and go out and every time I do, I just come back depressed and I can't go on like this. I am excited to go out, I want to party and have fun but it's just things don't go well even when I just go to have fun, there seems to always be some sort of ignoring or horrible vybes when I'm around girls. Even on the nights I'm not bothered by pulling. It's just the ignoring and the way people just don't seem to want to speak to me, even the guys.

I go out feeling happy and positive, ready to enjoy myself so I don't go out feel negative. Its just once I get into these places, it's just horrible seeing others getting so much attention and validation and nobody even cares to notice me or even say hi to me. Its like I'm not even there and yeah I will improve myself and increase my smv but what do I do in the meantime? What do I do when I'm treated like this and what could I be doing wrong? I admit I'm quieter than others but I still try to talk with people. It's just I seems to be talked over a lot and dismissed. It feels as though I'm completely shut down by my friends so they appear as the more dominant ones? This don't happen when we are alone or talk regular but it happens in the presence of girls where my friends will just pretend like I'm not there? It's so wierd.