I matched with my hottest girl on Tinder yet and one of the hottest girls I ever got a date with. I wrote to her and she answered and we had a fun and engaging conversation for an hour or something, that transformed into a date that same night.

She came to my neighborhood for coffee at 9:30pm. We get the coffee, I take her by the park and we sit on the museum steps, alone, talking for an hour or so. She says she's never been there, that's it's beautiful, etc.

We then walk back to where we met while discussing what to do next. I offer to check the roof in my building, she's on board. We go there, spend a few minutes because it's chilly af, and then take the stairs back. We're at my floor. I go into the elevator instead of pulling to my apartment (she mentioned some resistance at going to my place since I' a total stranger). BUT, I do not hit any button at the elevator. I let her know that she has to hit a button because I did not. It's only 2 choices really, either nothing and that means my place, or ground floor.

She hesitates. I smile at how easy it is to read her internal struggle. I make my move and go for the kiss. She deflects, "not on the first date". I'm completely unphased by the rejection and smile at it then tell her to hit the ground floor. She does, we walk out of the building and 4 or 5 steps outside, she turns back to me and asks if I have coffee at my place. I don't hide any amusement at her hamstering.

We go back to the building, in the hallway, she says we have two options Meet up some other time for dinner, or grab coffee right now at my place. I say why not both and take her to my apartment.

I completely failed to create any electricity in the air though. It was late, I was tired, I just got rejected a first kiss. Most importantly, she was actually fun to talk to and I loved how confident she was walking into my apartment and setting up boundaries. I have other plates from her age (20) to 30 and they are less audacious and more nervous towards me.

So, basically, my brain was deciding "let's fall in love" and "this is a girl I wanna see again" and "if I can girlfriend her, my life be set" (I'm 28 and never had a GF, only plates I don't love romantically). Looking at her doing anything wiped my OIS for any other girl (and I'm really good at nurturing OIS).

So anyway, she makes herself (and me) tea, we sit down on the couch and just talk. It's a fun and engaging conversation again. I tease, etc, just no kino. She touches my knee at some point and her body language is facing me. But I can't find a path to escalation.

She leaves around 1am. She kisses me on the cheek.

A few minutes after she leaves, I write to her on Tinder that I had a good time with her but that I forgot to take her number. She "laughs", writes her number back. I text her on the spot, asking her to let me know what she decides for something (she was debating whether going to her hometown right then or waiting for the morrow). She answers that, I send "Perfect. Good night (first name)" and she answers "thanks, to you too. I had a good time" (loose translation from French).

This was Thursday night.

I spend an awesome Friday and go to another date with a 19yo that night that ends with a kiss. I text hottie on Saturday "how was the trip". She answers at 3am with "pleasant". I know this is bad. She went from chatty on Tinder to mono-word replies. I send a text Sunday "pizza later ?" and she answers "working sorry". I answer on the spot (I was holding my phone reading an email) with "it's ok, let me know when you're free".

I know she will never let me know about anything (and I still hope that I boldly go for a second date anyway).

And I have trouble accepting that I fucked up somewhere, even though I got the match, I got the fun conversation, I got the date, I got the pull to my place.

I hate to think that if I was even more attractive than right now with a larger fit physique, I would have converted this, because everything else was there.

I have 2 plates that I'm fucking whenever I want. One is to be converted soon. A few other prospects. My social game and overall confidence is through the roof. I can work a room of strangers in minutes and be everyone's friend.

And it's still not enough.