I'm so fucking hopeless. We were friends at first ( I'm guessing she liked me) but I wasn't really attracted to her. When she fell for a guy and I became her emotional tampon, I realized that I liked her (she never got with him and she's still a virgin, I'm guessing she turns every guy beta and just loses interest). I told her to stop talking about guys to me. I told her I see her as a friend and cut off contact. It's been like 8 since then but in meantime we sometimes have moments where we touch each other (making fun of hands etc.) and I think about her for weeks when something like that happens. She's not even that attractive and I don't want to shit where I eat. I'm too scared of rejection either way. How the fuck do I move on? I had close contact with other girls (never kissed) but she's always the one I think about the most. She makes me feel feminine and I hate it.