Life seems to always pull a curve ball when you least expect it. I'm 18 and recently left my parents home and cut them out of my life.

The paradigm which they see life and the realities of society seem to create dissonance in the opinions and perspective which I have held about the world.

The more I explore the less I think I know. Isn't it not a interesting juxtaposition? Unfortunately I have lived the past 18 years under a paradigm that everyone is my competition and the only thing I should be competing for a place in medical school.

I never felt good enough for anything, never was I proficient enough but in the end of the day nothing really matters. In an age where AI's can calculate faster than human beings- it seems that we are no longer bounded by society to fill a traditional role within society. No longer are the rules of the game the same- due to the technological innovations and the shift in culture it seems that we are living constantly in a different life.

Honestly, 90 percent of the shit we do in this universe does not matter. Only the contributions which we do to others seem to matter. Therefore knowing my life not meaning shit, it gives me a mindset of freedom, almost as if I'm smoking pot.

I would like to expand my reality and try different things. I play alot of chesss,poker computer games,piano,study,gym and read books- what are some activities which would polarize this?