I just want to get to the roots of my mindset and fix it.

  • 18 years old virgin
  • Very ripped body
  • Smart(always top student)
  • Not ugly but not handsome
  • Dress my best
  • Poor social skills because I've invested my teenage years in studying(and video games).

I first kissed at 18(several month ago). And this was my first girlfriend. Our relationships last in about a month, because we date in summer holidays and after them we must go to different cities and I didn't want the kind of relationship.

I started building my confidence by approaching random strangers and I did it a lot. I've approached by myself 3 girls by now and get first dates with two of them. The second girl I date with show me a lot of interest, make sex jokes, give me compliments, but I just can't handle her. Seriously, I just can't show my sexuality at all. After talking for about 2 hours she asked if she can hug and I kissed her cheek(because she was shy and talked me all the time not to look at her because she is shy. So she moved her head when I try to go for a kiss). We hugged a lot(for about 30 minutes) and I kissed her cheeks a lot, but can't get to her lips(she always moved her head). It really bother me, that even if I really see that the girl likes me I can't do anything about it(because she initiated hugging, not me). On the next day I invite her for the second date, she said 'ok' but I waited for her for about 30 minutes, phoned her and she said that she forgot about our date. I walked away and forgot about her.

I always seek tenderness and caring in relationship, but I see that I will continue to lose all girls just because of it. I've understood that they don't want this. With 2 girls I've date, they become more cold where I show that I want more tenderness and not just to fuck her and leave.

I just understand why I seek monogamy in girls? What the roots of it? Why I can't accept that girls always switch guys? What I can do about it? I've read the sidebar, but I just can't fix my mindset. Thanks for your help.