Hey TRP,

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I've been red-pilled for a few months now and I've really felt the benefits that TRP has brought to my life. Women have become much easier to score (even 3 in one weekend!), hitting the gym, MGTOW, etc.

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I recently went out with this girl for dinner who used to be my biggest crush in my first year of college except now we're in our final year (I never pursued her back then because I didn't have any confidence back then). Thanks to the confidence I've gained since being red-pilled, I found it quite easy one day to ask her out for dinner. Everything went well at first until I noticed I started to relapse into my previous beta behavior after I failed to kiss her at the end of the date. I've been losing her since. I've been really disappointed not just because I feel my chances with this nice girl evaporating into thin air, but also because I'm reminded of the uncountable pathetic beta/blue-pilled failures I've had with women for most of my life. I feel like I'll never be able to overcome this innate behavior when faced with a girl I really like. I feel that this shitty feeling is affecting my ability with other girls as well now and that no matter how much I expose myself and try to make something out of myself, I'll always be vulnerable to relapse and this causes me a lot of internal strife and self-hatred. Like I'll never be good enough.

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I'm not sure if its a confidence thing, oneitis thing, traumatic past experiences thing- I know they shouldn't matter and what should only matter is how I should carry on with my red-pill to back me up but sometimes these feelings are really strong and I'm afraid of going back there- because I really don't need to revisit depression again. How can I overcome these thoughts? What has worked for you? Please let me know.

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Having this subreddit to ask and allow me to write it out does help in a way, but not enough to convince me that I can turn this around.