Man.. So I've been having these issues for ages and would like some advice.. English is not my first language but here goes..

I used to be kind of a nerd and was bullied up until highschool. Got my first girlfriend at 17 to whom I lost my virginity, but she ended up cheating on me with 15+ guys which broke me back then (ended up standing on top of a building but not jumping). That turned me angry at women for a good while, while 'accidently' teaching me a bit of 'game'; I didn't really care, so I got a lot of pussy. Also that girl later turned out to be sex addicted, which I didnt realise at the time (and did not care about because I enjoyed it, turned out she taught me a lot about physically pleasing the girls that followed). Went through dozens of girls until I calmed down again, had one or two LTR's, got introduced to pua at 23 which taught me a alot. Continued like this till I was 27 and got fed up with the meaninglessness of it all.. Met a beautiful, faithful girl and thought that this would be the perfect time to settle down a bit, being afraid i wouldnt have it in me anymore if I'd continue just having one night stand year in year out.. We've been together for four years now.. and for the last three years I've been feeling like I may have made a mistake. Too much childish fits, selfish reasoning, etc.. I always have to put my foot down, or threaten to leave her, for her to admit to being wrong (crying) and it weighs me down. It has gotten better over time, as she admits to being childish/selfish at times, saying she doesn't know why she acts like that but she's working on it, and I can tell she is.. It's just taking so gd long it turned me off of her almost completely.

The thing is, I know she loves me to the end of this world and back and would do literally anything for me. She has this loyalty towards me I believe is rare in today's women. No matter how much she pisses me off, she wont let me go. And she's great with kids. However I'm just not sure if I love her anymore, most of the time she's the sweetest girl but she just pissed me off way too much before. And I'm not being an asshole towards her, I just dont take any shit from anyone, no matter the looks.

The thing is, if all women act like this at times (childish, irrational, selfish, make everything about them), me thinking there may be women out there that are emotionally mature is a myth. Maybe I should accept that it is a part of the female psyche and keep dealing with it as long as it doesnt fuck with my children, and appreciate that despite of it, she's loyal and honestly loves the fuck out of me..