So I was chatting to this HB7 that I’ve known a while. We have a good rapport.

She hit me with a shit test. I think I failed, which is fine, I’m still learning.

What I would like to know is how would have been good to respond?

It went like this:

Her: Why do I feel so drunk? I’ve only had 3 beers!

Me: it’s because you’re so small.

Her: I’m not small! I’m average.

Me: The average height in the UK for a girl is 5’5, how do you measure up?

Her: I’m 5’4.

Me: Small.

Her: Slightly below average actually.

Me: You can say that if you like, I’m going to stick with small.

Her: haha, fine then! Do you think I’m drunk?

Me: Yeah, you’re a lightweight

Her: I know, do I seem drunk though?

Me: Oh yeah definitely

Her: Why, what have I said?

Me: It’s your actions

Her: Like what?

Me: (Silence and shit eating grin)

Her: Tell meeeeee!

Me: I like this bar

Her: Tell me my actions!

Me: Oh you know, the usual, slurring your words, stumbling all over the place, flirting, the usual! (Another shit eating grin)

Side note, it was obvious that none of this was true except for the flirting bit, I was getting serious IOI’s, the rest was completely not true

Her: The usual? OP that’s pretty fucking offensive! I don’t understand why you’re making me feel shitty about having a few drinks.

How would have been good to respond to this? Was it a shit test or had I actually just pissed her off?