Shit test or...?

There's this girl I know from uni, I would say that not until long ago I was in her friendzone (not because I made an attempt, just I wasn't interested until later) which I tried to break out of by asking her out. Things got weird in that she said yes initially but then flaked me and I moved on (total radio silence from me, went away, etc.). Now a couple of months later she adds me on FB and she says that she misses me, yadda yadda. I moved back in town and think of hitting her up. Only thing that's bothering me is that one of the first things she sends me is the profile pic of some dude on Tinder with a "lol this dude tried to add me on there a while ago"

I had no idea until recently that Tinder was a casual-hookup app.

Is this a shit test from her to see how I'd react to the info that she's probably banged a bunch of other dudes all this while OR is Tinder just a way for her to get her validation (and I'm overreacting)?
Is there anything I can do here or should I just move on?

The more experienced TRPers will probably sense my beta rays from a mile away. What do I do?

[–]terryomys0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It does sound like a shit test to me.

You completely and utterly ignore her talk of Tinder. If you want to go and fuck her, then go do that.

One thing to remember: ALL women will shit test you. ALL of them. Even the ones worth fucking. Even the ones worth keeping. Don't just 'move on' because you got shit tested, you'll never have a woman at all. Those women in 'Red Pill Women' boasting about how they don't shit test? Bullshit, they do. I assure you. You wont find a single woman who doesn't shit test. The shit test is a womans natural way of testing your worth.

You learn how to deal with the shit tests to your benefit. Yes, it's fucking annoying and yes, we wish women weren't like that.. but they are, and that's the end of it. And honestly, most of the time passing the shit test means simply ignoring the shit test. Sometimes a response can work well when you've mastered what to say and deal with women, but at your stage completely ignoring the shit tests means you pass it a lot of the time.. mainly because a lot of shit tests are 'unwinnable' by giving any response (think of it like when a child repeatedly asks you 'Why?' 'Why?' 'Why?'. That's pretty much the nature of the shit test, testing your authority. Responding to the 'why?' hardly ever works, unless you have something clever to respond with which will stop the shit and assert your authority over the child - or woman)

If she pushes talk about Tinder to the point where you can't divert to another topic (pushes the shit test) then a simple "Do you really think I care about that guy? Come on, he's nothing" works (or anything along those lines relevant to your personal interactions with her). Cocky/teasing tone rather than a cruel, cold tone.

[–] points points points 56 years ago | Copy Link

[–]terryomys0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I just laughed it off and told her that I don't want to know about her tinder hookups.

She immediately replied that "not hookups. not hooking up with <thatdudesname>" (which is funny, because the last part feels like another little test implying that the others were hookups).

I didn't reply after this.

You got this. Good job. You turned around her shit test to make her explain herself to you, and you recognised her other attempt at a shit test and ignored it at the right time.

The more experienced TRPers will probably sense my beta rays from a mile away.

Have more confidence in yourself and your interactions, buddy. You handled this one well.

TBH, she does have the "princess" complex and when we had classes together she was constantly bragging about how cops/famous dudes were hitting on her and she gave out her number but always flaked etc.. Might be more trouble than it's worth

I just want to say something about this. Could be what you say, or could be insecurity. Trying to prove her worth with words. A small amount of insecurity can sometimes be a good thing in a woman. If you can squash her whining about it/seeking your validation (by brushing off any whining or seeking validation she does with you), it might not actually be too much hassle (dont need to fix her insecurity, that's her issue, but you brush off her attempts at whining about it). Remember that unicorns don't exist: The majority of women ARE broken. That's the nature of woman, really. There will always be something you need to handle, fix, quell. If you want interactions with woman, that's part of the game. But yeah, whatever the reason, if it turns out to be one that's too much hassle then obviously don't bother.. but you're posting about her here, so you obviously want this woman in some way, so think about all your options and all the possibilities. You could make the situation work to your benefit by handling her character, if she's not too far gone.

Best to you dude.

Title	Shit test or...?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	November 23, 2014 7:56 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2n6w6v/shit_test_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-test-or.193256 https://theredarchive.com/post/193256

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