I noticed answer to pretty much my all questions is the following. Listen to yourself and let it out. Use TRP or brain to guide it if needed.

Sometimes when I let it out instead of suppressing, I give too much energy to outside. I want to jump, shout, do crazy shit, like pick up the girl and run away into darkness to fuck her, lol maybe not but stupid stuff. I want to do outrageous shit. I want to tell "hey girl, he wants to fuck you!" to a girl who friendzoned the engineering student sitting next to her. I want to meet people by assuming different identities. I want to assume different personalities. I want to talk like someone very loud and very decisive saying the first thing that comes to head without 0 holding back. I want to talk like a writer or aristocrat. I want to talk like I am a billionaire. I want to talk like I am a moviestar. All with different names, backgrounds, jobs, whatever. Sometimes I'm married to 3 women from Uganda. Sometimes I'm a gay refugee from Albania who sucked dicks of 81 guys to get here. Sometimes I am a kid of a politician. Sometimes I am leader of a cult who worship weed.

When I don't let it out, I try to supress my excitement and my voice literally disappears. I lose my voice. I get stiff as fuck. I become boring as fuck which is who I have been. I cannot watch peoples body language and notice how conversation going. All because I am trying to suppress everything meanwhile.

Should I try to balance it out, or just let the fucker out? I guess I'm scared of getting into trouble which is what I've been conditioned for my hole life.