In College, 19 years old

Swallowed the red pill, started taking lifting seriously, hardly any results, no luck with women, I look pretty young so they cant look up to me, cant do anything about it but keep lifting.

I see my Oneitis every while (which rejected me) get anxious, take my stress pills (which help lower adrenaline and dopamine levels) it helps me keep my shit together and see her unattractive if I run into her (kills Beta behaviour, actually works well but for a short period, I recommend it) Go back home, depression sinks in, kills motivation for a while.

I cant flirt if girls dont have submissive behaviour, it doesn't give me self confidence, also I'm in a small uni, not ganna risk my reputation, especially that I'm not intimating and people wont think twice about fucking with me.

I might work hard enough to look Alpha and if I do I will look pretty fucking attractive with my Baby Face and pretty hair, but with very minimum results I'm not motivated, it will take me a couple of years maybe 3, by that time I would have graduated, dunno if it will be worth it.

One more slap life threw at me: I have mental issues, started to note that from my suicidal behaviour (started smoking, depression getting in the way of my goals, actively comparing myself to others...etc...)

What advice you have for me?