I'll keep it simple, freshman year of college I was a loser. Complete BP all the way. I had a oneitis who when I asked out ultimately rejected me. Ironically same day she rejects me I find TRP. I cut contact with her knowing I couldn't fix it. This was in April.

I entered monk mode over the summer, started gaming a few girls and actually forgot about her for the longest time. I think i've been doing well with my emotions and holding frame remaining stoic whenever some shit happens.

The other day I'm walking across campus and as i'm going into a building she's coming out. She always wore this one perfume that was very potent and ngl I loved it. I could smell it before I even saw her coming and I felt the anxiety increase. We exchanged glances as we were passing by each other and for some reason I felt like a pitfall in my stomach. I was fine a few minutes later in class but seeing her made me cringe knowing all the shit that was me back before I found TRP. I deleted her number, removed her from all social media and forgot about her for the next few months completely working on me.

Question is why the hell did my anxiety spike up and I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach? I want nothing to do with her and I know almost no amount of change can make her attracted to me considering the hole I dug myself in. Just thinking about the days before TRP make me sick.