Hi all,

Let me start by saying I'm brand new to this red pill stuff and I'm terribly embarrassed with what I'm about to say.

Started seeing this great girl a couple of months ago. For about 4 weeks we went on a series of the best dates I've ever had. I eventually banged her after a few dates and it was great (as I type this I realise that even this will be frowned upon here). Anyway, I owned that shit. She was chasing me all day.

Soon after it quickly turned to shit. She explained she was in single mode (having already had told me she wasn't ready for commitment prior to this - not that I ever asked for one) and had to call it off as it was getting too close to a relationship (she's 23, I'm 25). I begrudgingly agreed and we parted ways...

... For a fucking day. Then she's back to messaging me at least once a day. Eventually I cave and reply. We agree to be friends again and so we move into the next phase of this mess where she is trying to "give me space" yet still manages to message me at least once a day. It really starts fucking me up. Note: I don't have any other girls going at this time.

Anyway, I get fucking sick of this. I'm starting to feel hurt and confused. I was(am) totally into her and said fuck it, what do in have to lose? I told her I can't pretend then I'm into her and I can't be fucked with this nonsense. She said we can't be friends. I said fine, deleted her off FB, etc etc and started swiping through Tinder.

So, as you've already guessed, next day she's all gutted and is messaging me again and me, being a weak fuck, agreed to letting her back in my life just as "friends", thinking I can justify it it as she's the one that keeps chasing me up. I understand how disgustingly beta this is. But is there a way to use this to my advantage considering what's happened? Perhaps we can see a power shift?

I plan on never messaging her, only taking action when she initiates, weasel out meetings until she inevitably caves.

Now, my questions: how badly have I fucked this up? How much of a piece of shit am I? I know I can just forget about her, focus on other girls etc but what I'm interested in is, at this stage at least, what are her movements if I play my cards correctly?

To keep the story short I left out a lot of the mushy crap. I said and did some stupid shit which no one would be proud of. I also, as I mentioned, have told her that I really do like her (don't hurt me!) And can we also not forget that; that I really do like this girl. I'm aware of the mentality around here that woman are just objects, and while I don't entirely disagree, I'm looking for perspective, not just a regurgitation of the sidebar.

Thanks!