Do you struggle with any insecurities from the past with LTRs?

I’m a confident dude, I practice BJJ, powerlift, volunteer firefighter, and I’m going to college next year (I’m 18).

I’m fine with hookups but as soon as I develop some sense of connection with a girl my mind goes all types of fucked up. I put on a persona outwards to portray that good mix of traits to last a relationship but internally it’s always a roller coaster of emotions.

It’s almost like some sort of self sabotage if that makes sense. The girl will be 100% fine, fun, down to earth, whatever, but for some reason in my mind I’ll doubt it. Why?