Alright guys I need some advice. I'm 29, I've been red pull for a while after lots of different shitty LTRs with terrible endings. I've been through about 6 LTRs in the past 10 years, with a bunch of random 1 nighters and fuckbuddies in between. I've had a decent stream of pussy for a while.

I just got out of a 3 year relationship. She told me she got fingerblasted by my manager while I was traveling Europe with my family. She expected me to forgive her. My reaction was I basically fucked her like a whore (moreso than usual) and strung her along until I eventually kicked her out of my house. Was that the wrong thing to do? I wanted to show her I was the best thing she'd ever have before I cut her off.

I'm attractive, athletic, confident, have a good job, nice car, I'm a talented musician, women are attracted to me ect ect.

Every single one of my relationships has been shit. They eventually are convinced that a. I don't care about them and I'm an asshole or b. I'm cheating on them. They always try to lock me down like a bitch and when I don't let them they flip out and go nuts, threaten suicide, act like a fucktard in public, cheat, ect. The fuck, TRP? Is this just because AWALT? Am I failing the shit tests?

Problem I have now is that I'm addicted to LTR status women. And because I don't want to fuck sluts who approach me, I stop wanting to have sex altogether. They honestly just disgust me. I just want to lay in my bed and die, TBH. I've been obsessing over nihilism and machavellian concepts for months, but I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. My manager is a total fucking scrub and I wanna fuck him up and quit my job.

Anways, recently I fucked a girl I've known for a long time, who almost seems like a unicorn. She left her boyfriend after I've been courting her for a couple days. Shes a friend of the family and we are basically the same person. It's wierd. I fucked her for almost 2 hours and couldn't cum because I just kept thinking about how badly this would end for us. She left and I haven't contacted her in a few days.

The fuck is wrong with me TRP, and what should I do about this unicorn bitch? How do I start wanting to have sex with women again? Help.

TLDR; there is no summary because it's a long fucked up story that doesn't make sense.