Hello guys,

First time posting. I've tried finding info on this but it's limited.

Been redpill aware for about 5 years. I'm 25. Usual beta/bluepill mindset, slowly changing this. PMO addicted and no job. Live in UK.

In my case I am severely deaf in both ears and it means I wear hearing aids. Obviously there's a self conscious anxiety attached and all that but I'm currently going through CBT to try and manage this.

For context when I was 16 I lost my virginity to an older girl, 19 at the time. Was involved in an 18 month hellish relationship. She was BPD and extremely possessive but the sex was mind-blowing and I was naive and went full blue pilled let's be together forever. I broke up with her after many attempts. Ruined my ability trust women (that was not the only thing, weak father etc). After that I went 6 years without sex, even through university, although I had many chances that I didn't act on. Went the escort way in 2018. Had 4 escorts, 2 were amazing but not something I would do again.

At this stage of my life I want to improve myself. Ofc I've tried before and failed many times. This time I'm doing therapy and it's helping a little. I'm also doing a work program that seems to be focusing a lot on mindset, so its inspired me to get back on to the self development RP stuff that I came across a few years ago.

My question is to anyone who has any experience of spinning plates/overall relationships of any kind when you're disabled. Would appreciate any advice.