One of the strongest ways the blue pill manages to control is through the instilling of certain moral values and attributes from a young age. Whether it be anti-aggression/pro-conformity sentiments, it seems to be inseparable as you get older.

Do you have any advice on how to deplug yourself from these moral restraints that just make it so you cannot succeed?

I've looked into the Dark Triad and despite the truth in what I read, my brain will not allow me to integrate them because I feel "immoral". It's like my brain just reads but doesn't want to absorb.

I've been the TRP before, acted on it before, but I've just gained the hamster/blue pill back as I've become happier- making myself have an idealistic view of reality instead of pragmatic/realistic.

Ironically the success that TRP gave me was the exact reason why I threw myself out of it- I felt content. Went for what made me feel happy, rather than what made me stronger.

Do you have any advice on how to get away from my programming?

~~ If it's been answered in a subreddit already, just direct me over to it