Let's say a plate I may consider upgrading exhibits something I don't like, such as picking her phone up too many times when she's with me, or mentioning an "abusive"/loser ex.

Usually the best course of action would be pretending I don't care, smile and keep vetting because displaying negative emotions will make her lose attraction, not to mention it will signal her to cover her tracks better next time.

Doing so however makes me feel too passive and not happy with myself. This isn't about the lack of abundance mentality because I spin plates, it's just somewhat disheartening when it happens with all of them at some point.

End result is I have a bunch of plates who are unfit to be upgraded to LTR and I end up being the one who deliberately breaks them because I see no long-term potential.

So I wonder if there's a way to "train" or "mentally influence" them. I want my plates to be so infatuated with me they'll internalize their red flags must be erased, not just covered. I want to see them putting effort, so if/when I reward them it feels it was truly deserved. Is there a way?