So I’m in college and I was dating this international girl from South America. She was very sexual, but I rejected her when we were dating saying I wanted to wait. She said noone had ever rejected her. I think she respected it. She liked me a lot.

Anyway, summer comes and she wants to stay together as she goes back to South America for a couple months. I wanted to end it clean, so things wouldn’t get messy in long distance. I take her to some special places we used to go and give her a special gift. I say because of the distance and communication I think we should not be together. She’s upset, but we sleep together that night.

We continue to talk during the early summer. One day she calls me and says a guy kissed her and she was really upset about it. She says she wants only me. I think about and the next day I say let’s be exclusive. She says okay.

Things are going okay, we’re texting. I decide to book a trip to her country with the mutual friend who introduced us. I would stay at his house the whole time and see the country, but surprise her on her birthday.

I call her a week before (because I didn’t think totally surprising her was the right move). I tell her I’m thinking of coming. She’s not excited. She is passive. Eventually, through calls the next days she says she wants to start over in the fall and eventually she says let’s be friends. But also agrees to take we can take it slow in the fall...

There’s like two weeks of summer left. So I’m like okay I’ll patch things up come fall.

I get back to school and she says she dated the guy who kissed her and she loves him. They got tattoos together and he picked out her tattoo...

Now, the story continues on— they break up for some reason, she says she still has feelings for me, she kisses another guy, I’m confused, she says she has feelings but doesn’t want to date, I get her a valentine, and she’s upset and needs space... we haven’t talked since.

It bugs me because I feel like it was all my fault because I said let’s be exclusive. Otherwise I wouldn’t care if she had left me. I thought I was being a challenge (?) and also I didn’t think actually dating would work apart and this would be better. I just find it hard to believe we’re not together after all the things I’ve done.

It’s been an epically strange and weird time for me.

Where did I go wrong? Have you seen this before? If I wanted her back...How do I get power back in this relationship?