Sounds silly, I know. But I honestly have a cognitive dissonance and really have no idea at the moment.

First off, being the youngest out of two brothers, I grew up fighting physically with them and because of my position on the family totem pole, I found myself constantly fighting for my place in the family. My brothers and I discovered wrestling (Not fake, Collegiate wrestling) and I found my gift.

I remember my first bully, I had just joined the wrestling team and was quite small for a 13 year old. He perceived my shortness as weakness and he would always try to throw rocks at me when I was walking home from school. I decided to ignore him until one actually struck my backpack. I remember feeling a primal tingle of rage that dissipated all my fear of battle. I dropped my backpack and charged him in this primal rage. Him and his friend ran as fast as they could.

I realized something that day, that being alpha is defined not by you physical build, your intellect, or even your wit. Alpha is a state of mind beyond things so tangible. I was half their size going against two people who were older; they obviously had the upper hand. They ran because they sensed my determination was stronger they their own determination, in that moment, I had the stronger will to fight.

Well, That moment forever changed me and I promised myself I would never take shit from anyone, never run and I would always stand my ground.

When It came time to date it seemed I did have a weakness. Women. They could disarm me and my new bravado and it angered me. I was not weak, physically and mentally. I was the best wrestler at our school. But I knew this must be a sign of some weakness stemming from an insecurity about myself.

The seeds of doubt were sprouted one faithful night when my girlfriend took me to a Rocky Horror Picture Show. People dress-up and watch some stupid movie and act fucking weird; was not my cup of tea. Well, there I was. A jock in the middle of a sea of greeks with my hot girlfriend and they're all eyeing her like she's the last otterpop in the fridge.

Well, some smug son of a bitch tries to get closer and closer to us (her). As their doing the weird cult dance or whatever the fuck it is, he proceeds to grope her breast in some joking manner. But It was no joke to me. The same primordial rage bubbled once again and I found myself in a split second pushing this fucker up against the wall with lightning speed. I swear the look on his face was priceless. He was terrified. Guess he never had brothers that beat the shit out of him. Well, This action backfired and I actually lost alot of respect from my girlfriend and months later we broke up. It was the beginning of the end.

I didn't understand why she was so upset, in my mind I was protecting her like any alpha, or any man for that matter should! I didn't know if I could trust my aggressive behavior any longer after that. To this day I still don't know if it was the right or wrong thing to do.

so as a wrestler inclined to aggressive behavior, where should I draw the line when it comes to protecting women without turning them off by being too aggressive?