Where to start?

I’ve read a lot of the side bar but still don’t feel like I’ve changed.

I go through phases of being very angry with how women actually are and it’s extremely infuriating. (Especially since I’m in a far from perfect LTR)

I’ve been lifting for 2 years, am in decent shape with a professional job. But I don’t feel like I have a purpose in life, how do I find this? How do I improve my life and self confidence?

I can sometimes be very quiet and introverted and sometimes outgoing and loud and don’t know why. I’m not the kind of person that ‘competes’ with other big personalities and tend to go back into my shell when this happens.

With my current LTR when I think about her past and what guys she had slept with had done, it makes me less inclined to do them in a weird way. Like she slept with a guy from work that we both know (who is unattractive) but made her laughter and gave her attention, and it makes me not want to make her laugh etc, and it upsets me that everyone knows she had slept with him. (This was before we met btw)

I’d appreciate it if anyone could give me a push I the right direction. I’m 26 btw

Any books to read? Or anything would be a help tbh!

Thanks in advance guys

[–]Rectumsalad 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

I found my purpose by envisioning my ideal, future life. Have you tried asking yourself where you want to be in, say, 20 years time? Do you have any hobbies that you're extremely passionate about? What would your perfect life look like to you?

By undertaking the above exercise I learnt that I want to set up a social enterprise which focuses on getting "troubled" kids involved in football (soccer), whilst at the same time helping them with their studies. However, I also pictured having a nice house in a rural area, with a family. Given that social enterprises usually pay fuck all, I decided that first I'll need to become financially independent - this is what I'm now working on.

Regardless, I think it's pretty common for guys in their mid-20's to really struggle with developing a solid sense of purpose so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about it. Whatever ideals and thoughts you had when you were younger have probably been shattered by brutal reality and things feel like they are adrift. I think its really important to not only contemplate ideas around this time period but to actually test the waters and do things that actually spark your interest; even if the interest is minor. If you can do this you'll find that your self-confidence will improve, as you start to gain a sense of self-worth through working towards things that are meaningful to you.

As an aside, I get the impression you're not happy in your LTR. Care to elaborate on this?

[–]LegitimateCableGuy[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Rectumsalad 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm currently working on a side-business which is related to the day job. This incurred minimal start-up costs as it's essentially a consulting service. As soon as the income reaches double the amount I earn at my job, I'll quit the latter and focus on the business full-time. I'll then look to start a new business which sells a physical product, whilst also investing in income-producing assets e.g. property. My target is £1m and I've only just started in the last six months, so I have a long way to go.

You say you work in a professional job- is there an opportunity for your to undertake related work on the side e.g. consultancy? Such a business model has small start-up fees. If that becomes successful you'll then have the funds to expand the business and/or invest in your original idea.

Mate, I'm going to be brutally honest with you: your LTR sounds horribly toxic. There is no way I could trust someone like that. There appear to have been multiple infringements made by her and she has repeatedly lied to you - If I were you I would break it off immediately and go no contact. Yes, it will be extremely difficult at first because you love her, but after some time has passed (we're talking several months here) you'll come to your senses and realise how vile she actually is.

[–]LegitimateCableGuy[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Rectumsalad 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

What about one to one sport coaching outside of school hours? Could build up a base of clients and then recruit other coaches in order to expand. You could also create online content which has sport-specific training programmes and then sell it in an ebook format, or alternatively get users to subscribe to updated content which includes new routines.

I understand it’s a tough situation but from what you’ve posted she has no respect for you and you can’t trust her at all. You are blinded by love mate. Do you really think she will change for you? I highly doubt it. The constant nag of not being able to trust her is not a healthy position to be in. Ask yourself honestly, can you live that way for potentially the rest of your life? I couldn’t, it would drive me insane. My first girlfriend was very similar to yours - she messaged all her ex’s as she liked to “stay friends” with them. She even met up with an ex behind my back (I found this out through snooping through her phone - something I’m ashamed to admit). Despte this, she claimed she loved me, but all it did was make me extremely insecure and I couldn’t trust her at all. The relationship eventually fizzled out,she dumped me, and within a month she was with someone else. When it ended it crippled me and I became depressed for a year, but now I am so much happier. I didn’t realise how toxic She was until I fell out of love with her.

All in all, a good woman would never disrespect you in the way that she is doing. You are being taken for a ride and her under her thumb.

And so what if you live together? I presume you’re renting? If so, I’d leave and not renew the lease. Obviously this means you’d have to keep paying your half until the lease expires; would it be possible to swallow your pride and live back with your parents until the lease expires? Or can you afford an additional place eg shared house?

[–]LegitimateCableGuy[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]lebokinator0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LegitimateCableGuy[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lebokinator0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Where to start?
Author	LegitimateCableGuy
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	January 30, 2019 10:03 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/alb9f9/where_to_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/where-to-start.210486 https://theredarchive.com/post/210486

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