Why do i value and respect people based on how much money they have, i cry of envy of jealousy but i don't show it to people, im the nicest guy ever, but when i see someone living better than me i get torn on the inside

I don't want anyone to lose i just want to see myself win with them

I've been feeling suicidal recently because i know there's no way to fulfill my dream of having money especially where i live, conditions, age (17)( i don't want to be rich when im 50... because what's the point) and my work ethic

Suicide will be the easiest way of either having what i want if there's a god and a afterlife, or deep sleep where i don't have to worry about this unfair cold world