Life didn't want me to get ahead. My mother, father, school, government, religion wanted me to be a beta obedient bitch who is happy with what he has. I gave them fuck you and took more from what I am supposed to take by working hard. My friends from childhood are not happy for me. Everyone see a piece of the pie when they are looking at me. Everyone says helping others is a grreat thing to do. I never understood that. Why the fuck am I supposed to give to world when world wants me to eat shit? Despite what I think about helping others, what I thought was maybe I can make people happier by interacting them. That wouldn't cause me anything but my energy which is relatively cheap. My hours are already decreasing and time is already moving. I might as well do this. Being positive, lively, appreciative about the person I'm interacting with or about surroundings and sharing that with the person. Personally, I am not lively, positive or appreciative for myself... I'm actually the opposite but I can do it for others. In return, I think I'd feel better about myself. Since I'm making people happy, I see myself more noble or something. Making people feel happier is under my control. I'm not giving them resources. I'm giving them basically my energy which I own. So it is like a drug that I fully own. So it is helping others... but not really. I sound like a physo but I'm just speaking my mind here for a moment. My questions are... does anyone here do this kind of thing? Why do you do it? What is it like?