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[–]Mooshaq 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I really dig the idea of encouraging guys to be more confident, of course. I think I'm a pretty confident person (a straight male) myself, I've had heterosexual relationships, I'm very goal-oriented, ambitious, I think I'm pretty funny, etc. By all your definition I am a "man." I also have a penis (the main thing that makes you a "man"). I also have very many platonic relationships with women, potentially more than with other men (not sure how ya'll feel about that).
Contradictions. And no, "funny, goal-oriented and ambitious" does not all of a sudden make you "a man." It means you are a member of the male gender (because you have a penis) that has a few positive characteristics.
For example-I don't give a shit about the super-bowl, like I honestly hate watching football. Yet I find myself naturally nervous about expressing that sentiment, because I feel like other men in my life will then look down on me for that. When I realize I'm having that thought I think "Fuck that, I don't care what they think because if they do think that I don't want to be associated with them anyway". I think it's a natural thing-I immediately feel that way, as a natural response to the thought that I really don't care about the superbowl, but I'm supposed to according to our society.
You say you go your own path and don't care what other men think, then you state this. This makes me think you do care. You don't have to like sports or good liquors, it just makes it easier as you have more common ground with many men. Pave your own damn path if you want.
My point is, this subreddit should keep it's focus on CONFIDENCE and personal DEVELOPMENT but without trying to define what it "means to be a man" or something like that.
Again, you're offended and really nitpicking this point. These things are good for men because it allows them to have common ground with the majority of other men. If you don't like it, don't do it. Also, don't start telling mods of this subreddit about how they should proceed, when you have not read or at least not internalized a lot of the information on TRP. They are mods here for a reason – they know their shit.
If I'm a man that likes music and art, and cooking, and being vegetarian, and reading. And I hate lifting weights and playing sports and drinking alcohol. Does that make me less of a man in your eyes, even though I am confident, interesting individual accomplishing my own goals??
See, now you're really starting to sell yourself to people in this sub, ostensibly because you feel inadequate and are trying to stop that by telling us how grand you are. Stop qualifying yourself to everyone on here – so far you've said, "I am goal-oriented, ambitious, funny, refined, confident, interesting." Also, I don't care if you don't like weight training or sports, but do some kind of damn exercise. Go running or jogging or do power yoga, just stay in good fitness. Also, you keep stating "I am heterosexual," followed by "I like girls." Do you have some kind of insecurity about your sexual orientation? "I like girls" in the beginning of your post would have sufficed.
I want to be in a relationship with a confident female (could also be a male, but I'm straight, so for me its female). In fact my reasoning is not so far from your own line of reasoning-I want an independent female who loves me and my company and wants a family with me, but I don't want to be the leader in her life-I'm already leading my own life! What value does it give me to lead her as well?
You clearly have not absorbed or internalized a lot of information on the TRP suggested reading and sidebar. Go back and read it again.
If I were an "alpha" male...I'd feel sort of guilty that I am making decisions for someone else...
No.
secondly the only benefit it might give me is to feed my own ego
No again. Seriously, go back and read ALL the sidebar material on TRP subreddit.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've read it dude but you're right I haven't "internalized" it. What does that even mean? I'm not going to read it over and over again until I suddenly realize its true.
Is there a difference between "a man" and a member of the male gender?? Why does there need to be??
"You say you go your own path and don't care what other men think, then you state this. This makes me think you do care. You don't have to like sports or good liquors, it just makes it easier as you have more common ground with many men. Pave your own damn path if you want."
Yeah, that's exatly what I'm trying to say. You should be encouraging people to make their own path! You're trying to make people fit into some box, and that causes more stress than it relieves. I wasn't trying to "sell myself" to the subreddit, I'm trying to use myself as an example-as a man, I read the stuff here and I'm like what the fuck, I don't agree with any of this stuff, but I think I AM a man. I realize I probably sounded a little cocky talking about myself, but yeah I was focusing on the things that Im proud of myself about-you can be a confident man, and have beliefs that are different than this subreddit.
So who gives you guys the right to define things like this? Like I've read the TRP stuff on the sidebad and whatever-but why don't I also believe it? What I'm saying is, do you not see the disconnect/flaw in the reasoning-that you're all about giving men confidence, happiness, etc, and yet you're defining what it takes to get there and what it means once you get there, and in the process, making men feel inadequate and ashamed of certain things about them. You make men feel like they need to change to fit into some sort of definition, which to me is completely contradictory to your original goal! If this is truly "anti-feminist" and whatever else, you should be about empowering individuals and letting them express their individuality...
Maybe I'm wrong-I'll go read TRP some more and try and figure it out.
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[–]Mooshaq 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link