So I've been with like two people my entire life. I'm 37 and I'm in fantastic shape but after divorce I felt like I was cheating by even considering dating. It's been 6 years since I've been with someone. Like the spark died in me. I just felt nothing. Now the slightest thing turns me on. Like I had never really even "helped myself" until recently. Like I've been missing out clearly. But now I'm almost aggressive. I'm partnered with a Montana guy for a treasure hunt thing and we talk by messaging. I'm going up there next month but I got no interest in hunting anything but him. Is this normal? Like I'm wanting to do everything I've read about.....and I almost feel like I crave a violence to it. I've never felt this before and Im feeling like I would assault him as soon as I saw him. I've never been that person. We've been flirting and it seems he would definitely not mind but I'm nervous because I'm a lot more brave by messaging. I don't even know how to talk dirty to someone. I want this casual but I don't want to look stupid when I get there and do the wrong things. Is this ok? Like the whole I want you to fu$k me in the woods kind of demand....is it going to freak him out? Like I'm the most self conscious person in the world but I am in shape, and I take care of myself and everyone describes me as cute or adorable. Bhea seen my pics and flirts so I assume he's ok with how I look.. I just keep thinking something is wrong with me....the innapprooriate fantasies. Like how do I prepare for 50 shades of grey type thing when the only thing I've had is the most basic missionary style relations. Do I have to talk during? I don't know what to say if he does that lol These sound so ridiculous when I ask but seriously. Any advice? Do I think this way because I know we could never really date since we live in different states, or because he's a stranger to me and I can be someone different?