I have a girlfriend. I've had lots. I took a bootcamp a year and a half ago and I even hired someone well-known for one on one training. I dress well, I'm confident most of the time, but not an arrogant douchebag, at least that's what I tell myself.

I have yet to be in a relationship with one of those girls, one of those women. You can use whatever word you want, a 10, a hottie, headturner, whatever. I want, and for a long time want to fuck a model. Not just fuck, but date a beautiful, powerful woman. I know a few women that fit the category. And, as I mentioned, I have a gf, we have an open enough relationship that if I slept with someone else, it wouldn't violate my trust with her. She might be hurt, she might end things, but it wouldn't be betraying her. We've even told each other that we love each other, which, honestly, I do.

At the same time, when I see other women, I want to go for it too, and think I should. I never really have. I mean, I've manned up and dealt (as best as I think is fair) with my approach anxiety, and with dressing better and all the little things in the relationship map (attraction, rapport...).

Well, what I can't decide, is, should I go and try to find that hottie and go for it, or is that an illusion, as in, she doesn't even exist, and even if I was dating allesandra ambrosio, I still wouldn't be satisfied.

It's an unusual post for /seduction, vie been a long time redditor, rare poster, and this is a throwaway, because I wouldn't bare my soul like this with my normal account.