Last night I had an epiphany while in a cough syrup and Bailey's induced haze at some shitty punk show. It's complicated but most of it can be described by a decision to be more deliberate with my actions and statements. While this may have been the cough syrup talking for me, I made that decision and it somehow stuck with me this morning. While riding off to work I made a few goals for myself:

-Deliberately flirt with every female customer and co-worker (Semi-success)

-Be more conservative with my way of speaking, no more rambling (Unsuccessful)

-Don't let anything from acne to bad hair to the way management makes me dress get me down (Success)

I'll just pull a few situations from the day and analyze them and see what I would do better next time. Sorry if this is too journal-y for this sub but it's more for me than you guys so no prob if you gotta delete it, mods. Keep in mind through all this that I just ended a four year relationship a couple months ago and this is my first real venture into the single lifestyle.

-Sitting in the back room playing Pokemon chatting with most attractive female co-worker. I'm making fun of her for wearing a skirt while climbing the balcony above me and joking that I'm gonna pull her down. "Blah blah blah I'll probably die and haunt you" she says. "I don't know if you'd like what you'd see." I spit out. I spy a grimace as she leaves. Failures: Not having something of value to say and just tooting out whatever came to mind. Success: She was loving the banter before that last hiccup. Lessons: Self deprecating humor does not work on babes. Be more deliberate with your mouth noises.

-Same girl. Telling her about the show I went to last night. Key story points: Getting up on stage and being thrown off, making out with some chick named Ashley, being very drunk. Positives: Telling her about the girl was a smart move because the work gal has a boyfriend and implies that if her and I ever hooked up it would be totally casual. Telling her about the show appeals to her interests (she loves that kind of crap). Negatives: Talking about the cough syrup and Bailey's combination got me one of those "Thaaat's amaaaaaazing!!"'s she gives every one of our customers who says something she doesn't give a crap about. I guess talking about "how fucked up" you were or are isn't really a conversation point.

-Same girl and other work girl double team me for a shit-test. Girl B wants some creamer for some tea shit(we sell tea), and she wants me to walk 1 minute away to starbucks to grab it. They gave confusing directions and I was very hungover at that point so it wasn't until I was walking that I realized I failed the shit-test. When I returned I said "There's no way you needed someone else to do that for you." and they go "we know!" to which I replied "Yeah well good luck getting me to do that again". And later I had the opportunity to request she grab me some creamer. So I think that whole situation was a success after the initial fuck-up.

So tomorrow I'm going to focus on being more concise with my language, being flirtatious with everyone and not singling out specific co-workers (too obvious and kills credibility), and putting on the persona that I actually know what I'm doing with women. Future goals include figuring out how to escalate with mall babes, dropping some numbers, and banging the most attractive work chick. I'm pretty happy because regardless of my success I'm always learning and that means next time I face these situations I'll have a little more to go on.

p.s. Teach kids in school to not enter serious relationships until playing around a little. Starting from ground zero at the age of 20 is not fun.