Bad Night Out, can I learn something?

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-18T05:43:02+00:00

Some things to think about. Take them with a grain of salt because I, and none of the others, were there.

Is it lonely here or is it just me? Smile on my face...... Response: Looked at me for 1/10 of a second, looked away and said "hi" with a fucking stone face. I said "hi" aswell and that's as far as I went because it just felt awkward as hell.

Perhaps observing her and the situation might have indicated a better approach or opener? Clearly it didn't strike her, but a comment on the situation might have done a better job. Also, once things got awkward, you apparently let her set the frame and accepted her awkwardness instead of remaining firm of self and potentially leading her out of it.

But who knows, sometimes it isn't in the cards. Then you just laugh about it and "next" her.

2nd: Pair of girls kind of squatting/sitting down on the ground out in the smoking area. I squatted down aswell, locked eyes with one of them and said something along the lines of: What's going on down here? Smile on my face, trying to be friendly. No answer, just a plain look, then one of their friends came by and started a conversation with them and all 3 of them ignored that I even existed even tho I was right in the middle of them. So I left.

You could have observed the situation a little more, and just hit them with a comment or proclamation about the situation that shows you were paying attention. Instead, you apparently walked up and told them you WEREN'T paying attention and petitioned them to let you in.

A comment that shows you were paying attention or a ridiculous statement, even if it was mixed with a question, would have been better.

3rd: Found a girl on the dancefloor that I wanted to chat up. HB7.5-8. Looked nice and friendly, got her isolated on the dancefloor and danced with her some, light touching as you do on the dancefloor when you dance with a girl 1on1. Friend came, dragged her away before I dared to drag her away myself and isolate. fuck.

I wouldn't sweat this one too much.

I guess I could have taken her hand and try chatting her up anyways? Or Isolated her the second I saw her on the dancefloor? If there was a better alternative please tell

Though, I wonder, since you mentioned "light touching," whether you were escalating much or enough? It doesn't take much time to escalate on the dance floor, provided you are paying attention to a girl. I've had it take anywhere from 5-10 minutes before I knew kissing was going to happen: usually the tells are there pretty early as to whether they'd be game or not.

And if you discover this much attraction, it will not only be harder for her friend to drag her away, but you'll possibly get to see different scenarios unfold like the girl coming back to you or making sure that you guys exchange numbers.

4th: Again, dancefloor. Set of 3 girls, the hottest of them (HB7) trades a couple glances with me, usually time to strike from experience.

I think you could do worse than to work on your powers of observation. Because, a.) just making eye contact doesn't necessarily mean much & b.) eye contact isn't necessary as a prerequisite to opening. I feel like you might be trying to judge how well you're doing by looking for "IOIs" instead of really listening and paying attention to the situation.

Did that, danced with them. Sang along with the song. Light kino. No eye contact from the target, and her friends show that they're really unconfortable and one of them signaled for me to leave them alone...

Light kino + target ignoring you + friends signalling you to go away = probably didn't read this right before you pushed in and then you let them set the frame. They were uncomfortable and you let that determine that you were uncomfortable too and it became a cycle.

I think it's better to just be there to dance and have fun, NOT to expressly pick up on girls. If you honestly wouldn't have fun being there dancing until the place closes, without getting a girl, then DON'T go there anymore.

......and after some minutes of random chatting with drunk dudes (god help me...) I left.

No no no..... Talking with ANYone is practice there is nothing wrong with talking to dudes, drunk or not. You want to aim for being straight up social all the time. If you wait to turn it on until you try to talk to some girl you think is attractive, you're more likely to come off like a robot or awkward.

So talk to anybody, keeping in mind that girls you aren't attracted to, guys are low-hanging fruit that will give you momentum. And being social just helps round you out as a person.

Plus, ANYONE you talk to can lead to a girl. (I number-closed a girl one night, pretty much because I had talked to some guys outside the club.) And there are interesting people out there, boys and girls, who will enrich your life just from interacting from them, so you really have nothing to lose.

And daygame scares the shit out of me, tried it, couldn't approach a single person. The AA was unbearable.

Your situation is not hopeless. But honestly, watch the video I linked to and think seriously about being social with everyone.

252003 · 2013-05-18T08:13:53+00:00

I was talking to the bartender last night when a nice looking girl approaches me from behind and hugs. My reaction is to say why did you do that and turn back to my conversation with the bartender. It took an hour to figure out what happened and just as I approached her my idiot friend got in a fight and I had to take him home.

Don't expect a super high sucessrate. Just hit on a lot of women and eventually you get it right.

inzolence · 2013-05-18T13:16:13+00:00

To be honest, for some people like me and I guess you, club game is going to be near impossible until we get a lot of other stuff right with ourselves. Despite how everyone here seems to post about fucking a 9/10 in every FR after going out to bars and clubs, think about the reality and how not all of us want to post the bad reports or those where basically nothing happens.

I had a similar crash and burn night a few weekends ago, I had gone into it thinking 'what is the worst that could happen?' and you know what? it was still twice as bad as I thought it would be. Also it was that bad, I probably went BACKWARDS in approach anxiety because what if next time is as bad as that night? After that I basically decided that the club environment is probably not for me unless I'm going there already with the right people and have a group to gradually reach out from through the night, or I've sorted myself out a lot and just get much better with people.

I'm quite good looking, but I'm fairly introverted and just not good at portraying a vibe that makes me look like I'm interesting or want to be talked to. Club girls have a massive shield up most of the time, especially if it's later in the night and they have had 50 other guys try their luck. You've got to have a massive aire of confidence and control about you. You have to get every step of the process right. It seems you're like me and don't actually know where to start let alone following through.

I feel like day game (which I'm still only 2% of the way in getting anywhere) is much better for some of us, as at least we can figure out something to talk about relating to the situation rather than relying 95% on body language in a dark room.

to_all · 2013-05-18T02:50:45+00:00

Maybe a lot of creepy guys hit on them throughout the night and they were tired of being approached. It was likely just a bad night.

darshinator82 · 2013-05-18T15:26:23+00:00

www.postmasculine.com If you haven't heard of this site, you would be very well served going there. I know that feeling of being in the dumps, but if you persist with self-awareness, you will have some awesome moments as well. Hell, just the fact that you are approaching and trying at all is something many men cannot do sober.

Title	Bad Night Out, can I learn something?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	May 18, 2013 1:40 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ejz4u/bad_night_out_can_i_learn_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bad-night-out-can-i-learn-something.1352492 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352492

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