First of all, no advice is one size fits all. I just wanted to share a few things I’ve learned over the past month since I started going out that may offer some help. I mainly go out to bars and I’m a regular at a few now so this advice may not be applicable everywhere but out of the 4 nights I’ve gone out this week I’ve gotten 3 different women to go home with me.

  1. Eyes: When you’re out and looking for someone to cold approach, just hang out with your group or at your spot and scan the room ~every 5 minutes. If you make eye contact (and hold it for a sec, maybe a small smile) with someone more than twice they’re probably at least mildly interested in talking to you if not more. Go talk to them and see what’s up.

It’s not going to be 100% but the odds that you accidentally make eye contact at that interval are probably pretty low and they’re likely looking at you more often than that.

Eyes have also helped clue me into when to make a move and escalate. If you’re alone with her and her eyes get really big or she squints a bit and smiles, take your shot.

  1. Group approaches: Last night was my first time doing this but it worked fairly well. There was a group of ladies that were all together at a table at the bar.

One of the people I know at the bar mentioned they were there for a birthday so I grabbed a round of shots for them, me, and the buddy that let me know and went over to them. I went for green tea shots since they taste pretty good and I haven’t come across anyone that hasn’t liked them yet.

When I got to the table, I mentioned that I heard it was someone’s birthday and I got a round of shots to celebrate. They were mostly excited and happy to take a shot with me and my buddy. One of them made a comment along the lines of “are you sure these aren’t roofied” which I just ignored and started off the “cheers” before they finished their sentence.

Then I said happy birthday and to enjoy and promptly went back over to the table I was at previously and continued working on my drink there. I used the advice from #1 above and definitely got more than one set of eyes. When one I was interested in left the table to grab another drink I made my way over to ask her how her night was going.

One of her friends (one who made the roofie comment from above) came up and promptly informed me that they were all married with children and the girl I was talking to had a husband that “would hunt me down” so I apologized (was funny about it though), let her know I appreciate her for letting me know, and went back to my spot.

One of them continued to make eyes at me for the next hour or two. I got her number anyways and let her know to call me if it doesn’t work out after making sure she was exclusive (this was definitely an asshole move but definitely gave me a confidence boost even though I don’t intend to do anything about it).

Essentially, if there’s a large group, figure out what they’re celebrating and go celebrate a bit with them. You’re going to get exposure to a lot more females at once and if you’ve got any charisma it’s a good opportunity to charm a few. Overall you may call it a failure but I would argue if you use your eyes to check if they’re wearing rings first you’ll probably have better luck than me.

TL;DR:

  1. Scan the room and see if you make eye contact more than once. If you do, approach and see if there’s any spark.
  2. Groups are there to celebrate something, go congratulate/celebrate with them for a second (preferably with some kind of gift) and then give them space and follow #1