~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]therct13 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Boy, you escalated too quickly without having proper rapport.
You should have talked to her for a while, something in the lines of: "Hey, I'm mp0295, I saw you from there and wanted to talk with you". It may be pretty straightforward, but sets you on a confident mindset. Talk to her a while, ask about her classes, laugh about her homework. After 2 minutes say something like: "I remembered I was going to Starbucks. I must leave right now, you can join me if you want" And let her decide.
But for what I see, you asked her too quickly, she didn't even know you, it was a too cold aproach.
[–]mp0295 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think you're completely correct. Thanks for the advice! While I'll definitely explore my other options, any advice what do do if I see her again in a social setting? Just ignore her or what? We have a number of mutual friends so it's bound to happen.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah he said everything I was going to say pretty much. You should have definitely at the very least started with introducing yourself if you were going to take her away from her studying and ask her to go somewhere with you.
Next time just sit with her for a minute and talk, then tell her the reason you came over was just to introduce yourself, because you want to talk to her and you're on your way to the coffee shop. Then invite her to go with you. If she says no you can always playfully mention how she's already sitting and talking to you anyway, and it's not polite to mislead people like that (PLAYFULLY).
If you see her again just walk up to her and be like, "Hey excuse me... yeah, it's me again (playfully). Hey, I realize I was kind of impolite because I didn't even introduce myself last time, so I want to try this again because I'd really like to meet you, my name is _____________"
Be prepared to have her ask why you wanted to meet her. You can say anything really. It doesn't matter much. But really dude there's no reason for you to ignore her. That'd just be kind of weird. I mean I don't believe in awkwardness or anything but really think about this to yourself, what reason do you have to ignore her? You asked her to go to a coffee shop with you and you think she's cute LOL you're totally blowing yourself out 100% if you don't do SOMETHING when you see her again. This is why women have problems with guys, you know? We make shit up in our heads that make no sense because women sometimes like to play hard to get/mind games and shit. Its all blown out of proportion. But think about it, it's especially weird if you have that many mutual friends and are so sure you're going to see her again and might even have to.... GULP.... TALK TO HER >_>
Really though, joking aside. Just try that out next time you see her. Don't put too much thought into it.
[–]Cruxisinhibitor 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Formality is a turn off, it's hard to be informal and confident in the beginning, but remember as you gain more experience to leave really formal, blunt approaches or conversation off the table.
EDIT: Poster above's advice seems a bit like pushing the envelope. Don't get oneitis or open yourself up to more awkwardness. This was a really bad approach if it happened just as you mentioned and it probably pegged you as mildly creepy. Create confidence with an abundance mentality, fix your mistakes, and don't be afraid to talk to her like a human being. If you're only approaching because of her looks and you're not really interested in her as a human being, you've lost the game (considering this is at school to meet someone and not a club to get laid that night).
Don't be ostracized because you screwed up an approach and your wounded pride is making you sad. You've got the upper hand in this situation. You asked an honest question to her, you were rejected. Move on and next time, preface it with HUMAN INTERACTION. Are you just gonna say to a girl, "Hey sorry to interrupt your work, but I want to have sex right now, want to come get some with me?"
beta af
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't normally introduce myself right away (I do sometimes, but not often at all), but I tried making it clear that in this specific case I think it's pretty important.
[–]Cruxisinhibitor 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't just ask for her to go somewhere with you without even knowing her, even if it's a minute away. It's a setup to possible awkwardness or objectification for the woman and anyone would likely reject you in the same fashion. You have to put yourself under the microscope sometimes before you approach. Try initiating decent conversation before trying to move the situation along. I can't think of a woman alive who would have responded to that if that's how you went about it verbatim.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]therct13 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]mp0295 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cruxisinhibitor 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cruxisinhibitor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link