for men

​ Phase 1 :- OPENING UP

Spend time with her, amusing her with pastimes fit for your age and acquaintanceship. Be friendly and fun to be around. Make eye contact and smile. Do not try to be someone you are not to try to impress her. Talk about weather, or food , or other common facts and information. Keep giving her attention, till she starts to make eye contact, smiles back, and talks to you. This takes time, so don't rush. Do not touch her till then. Also help her in something that she usually does when you are around. Or ask for her help. It can be anything little.

"Be friendly and funny" and "Do not try to be someone you are not" at the same time? Don't try to impress her by temporarily having qualities that you won't have in future. Instead try to develop this funny, lively, happy personality for yourself, because... why not? How can you expect someone else to enjoy your company if you can't yourself. But don't try to achieve personality goals. Instead see what you are, if you want to change, what you want to change, and work up from there. The outlook is that you should enjoy life, and then others naturally want to live with you too.

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Phase 2 :- HAVING FUN

You still have to carry on phase 1, be friendly with her always not just for a phase. But you may now try to play fun games and touch her hands. Not in a romantic way yet, you should first make her your friend. Because romance usually leads to petting, hugging, feeling 'I love you', kissing and sex. When that initial excitement fades out, you are left with a person that you don't even know yet.

So think of a fun game, or any magic trick that involves touching and holding her hands, like 'rock paper scissors', 'odds and evens', 'finding the middle finger', 'thumb war', 'red hands', etc. You can also suggest amusing group games which can be played when hanging out like hide and seek, blind man's buff, gymnastic exercises, putting questions and dares on chits and spinning the bottle, singing a song starting with the sound with which the previous song ended, recognising the song from its tune, the person on whom the pillow lands when the song stops has to dance, and other games which can be played with her friends. When alone, try to do other friendly touches like touching her nose with your finger or gently tickling her with pretext. Don't be too obvious and straightforward when giving her attention, just do it hintingly.

Try to befriend her friends, or any girl whom she trusts, with kindness and little services, for if she is won over, she will not cause any obstruction even though she knows of your design. In fact sometimes she may even help to effect a union between you and the girl. And though she may be aware of your weaknesses, she will then always extol your many excellent qualities to the girl, even though she may not have been asked to do so. And remember, keep the mindset that you are doing all this not just to get laid, but to make her happy, and to let her know that you will support and help her when she is sad. This also breaks the touch barrier between you two. If at any time, she tells you 'I love you', and you're not sure yet, tell her 'We're reading the same book, you're just a couple of chapters ahead.'

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Phase 3 :- SEEING IF SHE TRUSTS YOU

While having fun, add other people's thoughts and opinions to the topic of communication. This can be anything like, "My father always said.." or "My friend thinks..". This is to see her reaction to things you say without putting your own opinions out, so it is less vulnerable because they are other's opinions and you can distance yourself from them if she is critical. The normal reaction to sharing these opinions is that she will share with you other people's opinions too, or, she might tell her own opinions and thoughts. If latter is the case, then better, as you didn't even have to share your own opinions to build trust in her. This means she is showing her vulnerability before you show yours.

Also when the friendship is really good enough, ask her about her periods. This is not something that good friends should avoid talking about. Not even just friends, it should not be a taboo or a shameful thing that some societies make it as. Bring her sanitary pads, or chocolates to eat, although she can do these things without you as well, but it's always good to be helpful. Ask how girls feel, be curious and understanding.

If you see signs of love from her, like smiling with head down and shyness when you touched her nose or gave her attention, and not bashfulness or anger, try to find an excuse to meet her in private, in a park, riverside, private room, or balcony/corridor. You may say something like 'I wanted to give you something in private', and then give her a cute gift when you meet like wooden figures of a standing man and woman.

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Phase 4 :- RESPECTING HER PERSPECTIVES

When in private, place your hand on her shoulders or upper back when you are sitting beside her, talking casually. Converse on a light topic, talking about your surroundings, enjoying each other's company. Then after sometime, when there is silence share your opinion with her on some topic that you both share, like "meaning of life" or "which actor played the part better", then ask for her opinion on the same. After asking, casually withdraw your hand from her shoulder. This is body language that indicates that you are not focused on the touch at the moment, but on what she has to say. This encourages her to answer. If she has a different opinion, then don't be defensive or angry. Don't make her feel pressured to agree with your opinion. Instead tell her that you value and respect her opinion, and that people can always have different opinions. Smile and give her a side hug after telling her this. If she has the same perspective, then also give her a side hug, celebrating your similarities in viewpoints. Consistently giving side hugs is body language indicating that you are understanding.

She might, however, not give her genuine response and agree with your perspective(if you give your perspective first) as she might not want to risk losing this new friendship. In that case you have to disagree with her on some point, even if you don't disagree on it, to let her know she will not lose your friendship even when you have differences. This time ask for her opinion first on some topic, then tell her that you have a different one. Now she might say that your opinion is better than hers and is the right one, or she might not know what to say, or she might get defensive of her opinion. If it is the first or second case, then tell her that she doesn't have to change her opinion because of you, and there is no right or wrong opinion, and that you respect and value her opinion. If it is the third case, i.e. if she gets defensive or starts giving positive points in favor of her opinion, then tell her that she doesn't have to prove her point, people always have different perspectives, and hers is a very unique one, and that you respect it. Give her an even warmer side hug, so she knows that you don't dislike her because of her different views.

After establishing that you respect each other's views, this phase ends. This is a very delicate phase, as the relationship might get sour after she sees that you disagree with her on so many views. So don't stretch this phase for too long, as you can develop this understanding later in the relationship too. The key here is to USE VERY GENTLE AND SOFT TONE TO COMMUNICATE YOUR UNDERSTANDING MENTALITY. Don't be critical of her opinion, instead discuss in how many ways it is unique, and its plus points, etc.

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Phase 5 :- SHOWING AFFECTION

Yaaay! Love. Flowers. Romance. Now you can express all the love you were holding back. Now the relationship is not just built on something that vanishes away after sometime, but on something that only gets stronger with it. So they said, "only fools rush in". Anyways, you can show affection by actions and words.

Keep finding excuses to meet her privately, tell her agreeable stories when you meet her, show her your hobbies and passion. Play 'Guess what I'm writing' with her as an excuse to touch her. Bring her gifts, chaplets for the head, ear ornaments and rings, flowers, and give them to her by hand, saying something like, 'Hey, I found these and thought you would like them', or 'these would look good on you'. As you have not stopped being friendly and having fun, when playing games or tickling her change your way of looking from friendly to romantic. For example, when playing games, hold her hand for a little longer intentionally. Similarly, during tickle fight, when you are letting her dominate you, suddenly hold her arms, look in her eyes, SLOWLY lean in closer. If there is reluctance, then be patient and let her go, go back to your friendly self, like nothing happened. When her reluctance goes away while being approached romantically, SLOWLY caress her cheeks and go for a full body hug. Occasionally keep asking her to meet you in private to "tell" her something, and then show your love with more than just words by hugging her, sitting her in your lap, or putting your head in her lap. Do some of her work for her, that you never did before, when asked if you did it, tell her that she does so much work, so you thought maybe this would help her. You can show her a pair of human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree and similar objects. If engaged in water sports, you should dive at a distance from her and come up near her. At parties and assemblies you should sit near her and interlock fingers or touch her under some pretence, or placing your foot upon hers, slowly touch each of her toes, pressing the ends of her nails. You should playfully sprinkle on her the water brought for drinking. DON'T RUSH THROUGH LOVE&SEX IN ONE GO OR THE EXCITEMENT OF RELATION GOES AWAY. KEEP GOING BACK TO THAT BASIC INNOCENT FRIENDLY RELATION FOR MOST OF THE TIME AND SHOW AFFECTION ONLY SOMETIMES WITHOUT IT BEING SO OBVIOUS THAT THE EXCITEMENT DIES. Saying 'I love you' is as obvious as it can be, and after 2 3 years it becomes sort of meaningless. So when asked if you love her, instead of a direct reply, say something like 'when I wake up I think of you, when I close my eyes I see your face' etc. "When made public love rarely endures". Just let it be a desire never to be fulfilled, adding wood one by one so the fire endures throughout the night.

If she shows feelings for you, start pillowtalking. This is a safe environment to disclose deeper feelings about oneself than face to face communication. How do you do it? Finding excuses to meet privately, lie on sides, both facing each other, with her head on your bicep, you may use your other hand to play with her hair for sometime. Then tell her something about your childhood, what you enjoyed or hated about it. Then wait for sometime. She might tell about her past, now. If she doesn't, then tell her that you wanted someone to share this to. If she still doesn't tell her side, then tell her that she can tell you anything she likes, and you won't judge her for it. If she does not tell still, then kiss on her head, and tell her she doesn't have to tell you anything if she isn't comfortable, and say good night. Keep playing with her hair, kiss her head, and say good night for the next nights without sharing any new feelings. You have to let her be comfortable to tell you about her past. If she does tell, then congratulations, you have strengthened her trust in you. Now, listen to understand not to reply. Don't criticize her for her story, rather tell her that you understand, and then thank her for sharing such a deep detail about her with you, and how much it means to you. In the coming nights, share with each other your likes and dislikes.

Don't kiss her yet, but if she is overwhelmed with your affection, and kisses you then don't push her away, let her kiss you and kiss her back on the cheek. If she starts to initiate sex, then tell her you are not ready yet, and you are sorry to always stop her advances, but you want to make it special, and you hope she understands. All this, in this part, help cultivate emotional bonding between you two, a very crucial part in any relationship.

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Phase 6 :- MAKING MEMORIES

At last, when you're sure of her feelings towards you, make a plan for holidays in a city that she wants to go to / hangout in a park or an amusement park without friends. Shared experiences lead to inside jokes and private memories that can intensify a connection. The act of teamwork and moving in unison towards a common goal while creating an experience also establishes a feeling of closeness. Just have fun there.

​ Phase 7 :- THE BIG MOMENT

At the end of the day, after you've had fun, take her to a natural/sunset place and watch the sunset together, holding each other in your arms. When you feel the time is right, SLOWLY turn towards her, hold her hands and look in her eyes. Tell her how beautiful she is, that you can't imagine living with anyone else besides her. Or tell her something of your choice, that you don't want her to forget. Then SLOWLY tuck her hair behind her ear, move your face closer to her, switching your glance from eyes to lips, put your hand on her cheek or in the hair, and other hand on her lower back. Give a light peck near the eye on the cheekbone first, then kiss her cheek gently, then caress her cheek or hair, kiss near the lips, till she wants to kiss you back. And when she does, lift her chin with your fingers and kiss each other.

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Phase 8 :- THE AFTERMATH (SEX)

Don't focus too much on the orgasm (or on getting off), you can get that by yourself too while masturbating. Focusing too much on it, makes it more difficult to achieve as you aren't letting yourself go in the experience. Don't focus on getting pregnant during the first time, you can do that later too after talking and deciding that you want a kid. "Sex is two people coming closer and sharing what their bodies like and what pleasures they are capable of. It should be a relaxing experience, not a race of who gets there first."

Even when masturbating the end-goal should not be to achieve an orgasm. If it happens then good, if not then no worries. Do it to find out what your body likes and enjoys so when you have sex, you can share with your partner what you like. Porn is made to get you off. Real life sex is very different (sweaty, smelly, hairy, there are no moans of ecstasy when you are penetrating, there are moans, but it is too much exaggerated in porn) But if you really need stimulus to stay aroused, then sure you may use porn. Just make sure your partner is okay with it, as it can often cause jealousy in a partner. Also, don't get yourself used to excessive pressure and speed when masturbating, as it is often difficult to imitate during sex, and your partner might feel incomplete because they can't satisfy you. You may also consider minimising masturbation if your partner feels you're having less sex because of it.

Now, before you have sex, you have to get aroused. Men are like fire, you light the spark and we're hot and ready to go. Women, on the other hand, are like water, it takes time but it sure can get steamy. But there can be certain inhibitors to her sex drive, like stress or thinking/worrying too much, unhealthy lifestyle, lack of sufficient sleep, poor diet, sedentary lifestyle, etc. You need to find out what is holding her back, and eliminate it. The best way to deal with stress is talking to someone, understand her problem and make it your own problem, find the solution and communicate with her. Give her a little head massage, or full body massage, and tell her to close her eyes and take deep relaxing breaths. Yoga can also help to destress. Another break in her sex drive is feeling taken for granted. So always make sure to acknowledge when she puts a lot of effort into something. These inhibitors in her sex drive probably won't be there in the beginning, but they unfortunately develop later in your relationship. If she's angry from you; don't argue or counter claim, persistently explain why you did it, to let her take her anger or frustration out on you, when she calms down slightly but is still mad at you, use gentle touches to pull her closer to you, caress her shoulders, hair, neck and cheeks, speak softly(with your baby voice), say things like 'i won't do it again', 'it was a mistake', kiss her lips or neck etc.

There are also some accelerators in her sex drive too like: (you won't need these either in the beginning)

A. FLIRTING.

Flatter her. Give her genuine compliments. Some girls like it even more when you flatter them in front of there friends or family. If you overdo it, then your compliments will lose their power. There is this thing about girls, in all matters, that if you either completely ignore them or give your complete attention to them, then they aren't attracted to you. You have to sort of leave them wanting more. Hence flattering is beautifully complimented by teasing. You can tease her by treating her like a little sister. Mess with her. Intentionally bump into her walking by, tickle her, mess with her stuff, act like an annoying kid, playfully spank her when you’re joking around. Not aggressively, but enough to make her playfully want to hit you. Don't overdo teasing either, or she might really get annoyed by you, say 'I'm just messing', and kiss her neck and calm her down, then playfully continue again. Think about it, you only tease your old friends. You tease them ‘negatively’, for example, for their childish or slobbish behaviour. However, you also do it as a means of affection. They are alright with it, everybody laughs and it leads to further bonding. Or you can follow up a compliment by an immediate tease like, “That’s a great looking dress, I’m not too sure about the shoes though”. When she makes small mistakes, “I don’t usually tolerate this kind of behavior, but because of your cuteness, you get a pass…this time.” When she says something controversial, “My mom warned me about girls like you.” When you can tell she has put a lot of effort into her outfit/appearance before a party, “You really shouldn’t dress like that, now I’m going to be distracted all night long.”

Things to keep in mind when flirting:

If you do any of these examples with a serious expression on your face and an angry voice tone, then it’s going to come off really bad. The key is saying it with a cheeky smile and playful tone. When you’re being a flirt, everything needs to be sarcastic. Don’t tell jokes though, tell funny stories if you have any. If not, just make funny remarks to things she says. Be Confident No Matter What. Stand up tall, act like yourself, keep your body faced towards her when you’re standing up. Arms must always be open, don’t cross them, look down, or play with your hands. Don’t constantly smile; only when necessary. You can even give her a slightly annoyed face if she said something stupid or silly to tease her. You have to balance ignoring her with giving her attention. You simply go for a while and come back shortly. It makes it seem as if she’s not your number one priority and you have other things to do. No it doesn’t ruin the flirting, it actually makes it stronger. Once you’ve established a connection with her, get up and go talk to another friend or take a walk around the social event. In the meantime, you can think of things to talk about with her or go get a confidence boost from a friend. When you are flirting near her friends, don't disregard what her friends say either. You need them there, or your flirting won't have a charming effect. You can talk indirectly to your partner by talking to them. They might even take your side in teasing her. Giving her compliments in front of them makes her feel special. If you ignore her friends, then they might leave you two alone. Greatest of all, don't do it if you're not enjoying it. Flirting, like many other things here, must be a fun activity. It isn't charming if you're trying too hard.

B. TENSION OR ANTICIPATION.

This means deeply wanting to have sex, but due to some reason, you can't. Maybe because you are away, or there are people nearby, or hinting sexual intent to someone during a casual activity thus building tension, etc. It is naturally present in the beginning of any relationship. But it slowly goes away as you get to know each other's bodies. A few examples are : When she's sitting near you reading, writing or doing something, hint intent by seeing her silently with desire, when she sees you looking at her say a few casual words, smile briefly and slightly look away when she smiles back (as if you were 'caught'), go near her SLOWLY speaking casually but hinting desire, lean in towards her from behind, under the excuse to talk about what she's reading or help her in what she's doing, such that your chest is gently touching her shoulder, without looking at each other directly but stealing glances when she's not looking, lower your voice to move your head closer to hers, all the while speaking casually but in a low and slow tone, feel her hand or shoulder to 'help her in the work', whisper to speak near her ear, with your lips lightly touching her ear over her hair. Text her a few hours before you meet, to tell her what you want to do to her when you meet. When you are at a party tell her you would rip her clothes off if all these people were not there. When you are saying goodbye to her, softly mention something suggestive to her like, “I can’t wait to see you tonight” or “I’m going to be thinking about you all day long”. When you’re sitting together on a sofa watching TV, rest your hand on the inside of her leg. Hug her from behind when she’s standing in front of you in the kitchen, anywhere around the house. Grab her waist and pull her towards you, then playfully push her away. Press her against a wall with bodies touching. Gently pull her hair back and give a kiss on the neck. Slightly graze your hand over her hips or touch her lips with your thumb or brush your arm against her breast. You get the idea. You'll learn new ways as you do it. Just show your intense desire. It'll be more effective if after doing any one thing you leave her and then come back after some time to do something else.

TEASING

Go near her WITH DESIRE as she is standing somewhere near the mirror or the dining table or anywhere. Run fingers around on her back, arms and neck, kiss her gently on her lips. Gently place your fingers on her neck, with the thumb on her cheek and fingers in her hair. Increase your pace of kissing, slowly touch her hips with your hands, slightly touching her genital area over her clothes. Or just leave your hand on her crotch, gently wrapping around her vulva with fingers towards her anus, and she might actually start grinding against your hand. Don't kiss the lips for too long. Slowly move your kissing business from her lips to her earlobe, then behind the ear, neck. Run your hands lower around her breasts WITHOUT touching them, while you kiss her neck. Occasionally brush the fingers over her nipples when she isn't expecting it. Explore! Go behind her and slowly remove her and your shirt, kissing her occasionally. Leave her bra on to build anticipation even more. Kiss her beautiful back, with you hands gently roaming on her stomach, sides and really close to her breasts, without touching them. Grab her sides or waist gently, or softly dig you nails in her body. When kissing her back, lick, suck or gently bite her back. Turn her around so she faces you, press her against a wall, kiss her again on the lips, licking, sucking your way to her delicate neck, chest and her cleavage.(Don't bite the upper lip) Reach behind and take off her bra. Don't dive right into them.

Lie her down supine on the bed and get on top of her as if you are riding her. Lean down on her and start kissing her on the lips again. Slowly make your way down to her neck, chest. Start kissing very gently on the outer parts of one of her breasts, while slowly cupping the underside of it with the index finger and the thumb of the appropriate hand. Avoid her nipples to build tension. When kissing use your tongue too, and slowly cover the entire boob with kisses. Very lightly keep grazing your tongue across her nipples and then avoid them again, going back to the outer part. Open your mouth to put your teeth on her boob and then slowly close your mouth, using your tongue to push the skin out as your mouth closes so that you don't actually bite it, gliding the teeth and lips on it. It's like fake biting, like sucking a mango without actually biting a piece out, just gliding the lips and teeth on it so when your mouth closes there's nothing in it. The tongue is used to push the boob out and to wet the surface as it won't feel nice when lips are gliding on dry skin. Always look for her indirect cues like gasping, sighing, moaning, breathing speed to know what she enjoys the most. Slowly grind on her pelvis with your belly. Very slowly kissing every inch of her breast (leaving her nipples) move to the underside of the breast, kissing licking and sucking it gently. Breasts are a huge erogenous zone in women. As you do this you can progressively grab her breast more firmly in your hand. Move over to her opposite breast and do the same thing from the beginning. She might be begging you to lick her nipples, or is starting to touch them herself. Stop her from touching, as you are teasing her right now. Slowly graze your lips across the nipples. Then lightly cup a nipple with your lips, and massage them very slowly and teasing it with your tongue inside. Start sucking on them softly, progressively sucking them harder. Nipples are very sensitive in some women and it can hurt so be gentle. Keep grinding on her pelvis too from time to time.

Kiss down her stomach. When you get to her belt line, kiss on her stomach along the edge of her skirt/pants. Take her shoes and pants off, leaving the panties on. As you're pulling these down, kiss on her thighs and on her inner thighs. She'll love it. Step off the bed to take them completely off. As you're approaching her again, kiss back up her legs, underside of knees, working your way back towards her underwear. Once you're back in position on all fours, and she's flat on her back, start kissing her bikini line. This is the area on the edge of her panties. Again, very slowly and passionately kiss, suck, lick and nibble on these areas. Run your fingers up and down her legs, avoiding her vulva completely, but acting like every time that you MIGHT touch it. VERY LIGHTLY peck on the outer lips of her vagina over her panties. This area is probably wet by now. Playfully ask her if she wants you to take her panties off. Then peck slowly again. She'll most definitely want you to take her panties off, but tease her. Say, "Why not?". Then peck slowly again. "I thought you were enjoying this. *Peck " This'll probably drive her bat-shit crazy. Then slowly grab her panty's edges in your hands and instead of taking it off, pull it closer towards her belly, so that it is pressing against her vulva, and is layered inside her outer lips. Slowly rock it up and down to gently massage her clit. Kiss and gently bite her inner thigh as you do this. As slowly as you can, take her panties off. As you're doing this, kiss lower and lower as more skin is revealed. Move back, completely take her panties off. As you come back up, lick your way up to her vulva as slowly as possible, with your hands too gliding on her outer thigh massaging, grabbing her. When u finally get to her vulva, moisten your fingers or tongue, and gently lick her outer lips, then inner lips, the area in between, the perineum, briefly touching the clitoris and sliding the tongue in just for a short second. Rub around it, next to it etc, and watch as she squirms trying to get you to touch it. Too much teasing is boring so mix it with quick dominating actions of desire as if you can't wait anymore.

ORAL

Give oral now. Some women like it rough, some are very sensitive and want gentle stimulation from over the hood. Some like penetration, finger in the ass. The best advice is to ask her. Some women can't orgasm from oral, because they are too desensitized by always using a vibrator. So they have trained themselves to only orgasm in one way. Sex toys can be a huge problem too for couples. Men usually get jealous and feel like they can't satisfy her woman. It feels like the vibrator is more important to her than you. There are two ways around this, either help her get desensitized over a period of time, or you control the sex toy. Tell her your problem and ask if you can use the vibrator on her rather than she doing it herself. If she says yes, then you own the toy now. Treat it like a part of your own body, with which you satisfy your woman. Teasing her with it, edging her. This way you can also include power play in your sex. Some women just can't orgasm from oral or manual stimulation, for them the latter would be the better option. And some women can't orgasm at all (anorgasmia).

Try different things. Maybe she likes vaginal or anal stimulation. Doctors tell that a woman's brain didn't receive stimulus from the clitoris due to a spinal cord injury, but she still orgasmed from penetration. Just know that one orgasm is not better than the other, and don't let her feel missing out. We don't even know if they are different orgasms or the same. Then there is the G-spot which is on the anterior wall, about 2 inches in. It is a bit ridged and bumpy area. Some women can ejaculate (like men) by stimulating this spot. This is described as a feeling of build-up and release. Some women can do it, some can't. Some classify it as an orgasm some just say it is uncomfortable build-up and then relaxing-release. This G-spot is between the urethra(pee tube) and vagina, where skene's glands are present, which are homologous to prostate in men. Both men's and women's description of prostate and G-spot orgasm and its difference from penile or clitoral orgasm is strikingly similar. But in most women, this Skene's gland is not developed enough to ejaculate(neither was it intended to develop by nature, because female ejaculation doesn't aid in reproduction). But in some women it is developed. Don't make your girl feel she is incomplete if she can't have one or any of these experiences. You should just enjoy sex as it is enjoyable, without expecting anything to happen.

SOME ORAL TECHNIQUES

1. Stick your tongue out and spread it by relaxing the tongue. Then place it on the bottom of her vulva and gently move your head (not your tongue) upwards, with very little pressure. Slightly increase pressure as you reach the bottom of her clit, by moving your head closer to her vulva (don't move your tongue as it can be tiring). Then lick the clit and go back down to the start. Slowly increase pressure and pace as she likes it. Or just leave your tongue there and let her tell you how she likes it by grinding against it.
2. French kiss the clit. Kiss it with your lips and your tongue. Slowly and gently draw circles around the clit. Use temperature play, where you lick an area and blow hot air on it by opening your mouth wide. If you make the opening of lips smaller, then the air becomes cooler.
3. Make an 'O' shape with your lips like when you suck noodles. Place it over her clit and GENTLY suck on it. DON'T USE TEETH AS IT'S PAINFUL. Massage it internally by your tongue, and slowly increase the pace. Put a finger in her mouth and tell her to suck it just as she wants you to suck her clit. Slide in one or two fingers inside her vag to stimulate the "G-spot". Or if you want her to feel like she's being fucked, then slowly pull the fingers out, turn them downwards, and put them back in. Then put pressure on her bottom wall as you suck the clit. Move your fingers in up and down motion rather than in and out. You can put higher pressure here, if it is not painful to her. But don't suck the clit too hard or it can go numb.
4. Lay on her sideways(perpendicular to her body) and do the technique 1 from above, but this time it will rub on her clit from side to side, rather than bottom to top. Some women find this extremely pleasurable as it is similar to their circular motion during masturbation. Yes, put your tongue on the clit and imitate the circular motion with your head.
5. Don't be afraid to slide the tongue inside or lick the ass. The inside of vag tastes amazing. And eating ass should be an expression of love ;)

SOME MANUAL TECHNIQUES

1. Grab the clit between your middle and ring finger either directly or by layering between her outer lips, and gently squeeze or pinch it, Or move the hand up and down against the vulva, so the clit is jerked off in a way, or gently roll the clit between your fingers.
2. Grab the upper lips near the top between the index finger and thumb and gently and slowly pull them away from her vulva, spreading like the wings of an eagle. Pressure is put on the clit this way. And if she contracts her pelvic floor muscles repeatedly, she can jerk her clit off. ​

PIV

If you want to try piv, then put your penis over her vulva, and slowly move back and forth to rub it over her clit. Use your hands to gently caress her beautiful body. When she's aroused, put it in SLOWLY. Use your hand to press and rub your penis against the side walls, or to churn it by moving it in circles pressed against the walls SLOWLY. For your stimulation thrust in and out, varying deep & shallow. And for her stimulation rock up and down over her pelvis. Harder does not mean faster. It means pushing her body in the bed when your penis is balls deep while thrusting. Faster can be good for short increments. But most women like it slow and hard, with gradually increasing pace. Let her get on top if she enjoys grinding or wants to take control. Remember to relax your body and tell her to relax too by taking deep breaths and spreading the energy in her body. Don't tense the muscles, or you might ejaculate quickly and then that may disrupt your sex if your recovery period is too long. When either of you are really close to climax, then immediately stop all stimulation, clench your teeth, open your eyes wide, keep your spine completely straight, without any movement and take deep breaths to spread the energy in the body. Do this multiple times (edging). You may pull out and spank it over her clit till you have cooled down. Then put it back in. Or change positions to prolong the session. Please kiss each other on the neck, ear, everywhere while you're at it, caress each other, it's called making love for a reason.

If she is close to climax, and wants to orgasm, then don't change your pace. VERY GENTLY spank her between the breasts or on the hips, based on the position you are in. IF she seems to like it, or is into rough stuff, then gradually spank her harder, GENTLY dig your nails in her sides, to take her over the edge, spank her side or grab her breasts, bite her lower lip, earlobe or neck, or grunt and make more noises. Talk dirty if she's into that. If she likes to be dominated, then hold her hands above her head, spank her where she likes, pull the hair back, choke(only till it's pleasurable and not suffocating) her GENTLY, as she goes into extreme pleasurable states of mind. If she's into discipline, then deny her the orgasm again and again until she begs you, wag your finger towards her. ALL OF THIS SHOULD BE CONSENSUAL AND NEVER FORCED. Just talk beforehand. When she climaxes, she might launch herself off your penis, even if she doesn't want to, due to excitement, you should hold her down with your hands. Don't thrust quickly now, as it might be painful for sometime. Just move in and out very slowly till she cools down.

It might be possible that you ejaculate before she can. Don't be disheartened then. You can still get her off(if she wants to) by oral or manual stimulation. Or even better, lay down near her on your side, facing her and put your fingers on her clitoris, and ask her to put her fingers on yours and guide you to her orgasm as she does while masturbating. This will be extremely hot. Suck her nipples while you're at it. If she wants to orgasm before you during sex then you must stimulate her clitoris, if she can't orgasm from penetration alone, either manually or with a vibrator if she is dependent on it. Some men think 'if I put my penis in her vag and thrust, then I orgasm, so I should be able to give her an orgasm just with my penis alone, or I am not man enough', which is SO WRONG. Nature designed us, with male orgasm in mind, to get us there as quickly as possible because it is accompanied by ejaculation and aids in reproduction. So the vagina is ridged and directly stimulating the glans. But the vag doesn't usually have enough nerves to orgasm. (Or childbirth pain would be even worse if there were more nerve endings.) So it is totally okay to use your hands or tongue to stimulate her pleasure organ(clit).

There is no harm in using lube, as your bodies produce less of it as you get older, so you have to use it to increase pleasure. Don't use oil lube with latex condoms, or they will break, and it also stains the sheets. Silicone based lube is best for the ideal pH balance of the vag, plus it lasts the longest, and doesn't stain the sheets. But don't use silicone lube with silicone toys or it will ruin your toy. Either use metal or glass or wooden toy in that case, or use water based lube with silicone toys, water based lube dries out quickly and you have to reapply it after some time.

If she says that your size is not enough, don't be disheartened still. You can't do anything about it, accept yourself. Try some toy, that you can wear over your penis, that can increase your length, and stimulate you from inside at the same time. You can also do this if she wants you to be fast but you cum too quickly from it. The toy will protect your glans from direct stimulation, and you will last longer. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, and can't improve it, know that there doesn't always have to be intercourse. You can outercourse. Girls often start out by humping there pillows or stuffed animals. So rub your perineum against her clit. This way you can delay yourself as there is no direct stimulation of the glans and she can reach it faster due to direct pressing of clit. You can also do prone position like this where you grind on her hips as you reach under and stimulate the clit with your hand. If she wants to be dominating, lie prone, and she can be tribbing on your hips. She can also lean down to stimulate her nipples by touching with your back, & you can act submissive then.

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You might skip most of this during your first time, due to excitement, and it's ok, these are just guidelines not hard and fast rules. Even one thing your girl tells you has far more importance than this entire post combined. Because it's you two's relationship. Usually people skip most of the phases by jumping straight to love, and then sex, or just sex, that's okay too. Let your gut tell you what to do, and only afterwards look at these. You can't make love happen, it sneaks up on both of you. If you really wannabe with her, you'll figure all these things out yourself.

Plus, have your own life too, know what you love to do, and give yourself time too. Find your passion, hobbies, and what you want to do in life. Don't make it all about your partner. Everyone loves to be around someone who enjoys life. "If you put someone on a pedestal, you force them to look down on you."