Bought a last minute ticket to a Concert and decide to spread my wings a bit and shake off the dust. Spotted a HB8 standing alone staring into her phone. I stood next to her and purposefully hip bumped her and told her it was impolite to fall into the internet when there were perfectly interesting people around her. Find out her ex bailed on her did some basic chit chat and Kino. Talked music and began to dance.

Before too long a friend of mine found me HB9 out of a crowd of 5,000 and brought the mood down and accidentally ruined the frame. Got shit tested when she called me a liar. I told her that I have friends everywhere I can't be held responsible when they happen to show up. Plus she was with me now so technically she was no longer alone either. Reached in grabbed her waist and pulled her closer from the side from the small of her back. Giggle. I was in.

4 separate kids asked if they could buy molly from me and told them I'd haven't seen her but I'll sell you HB8 at a reasonable price. Lost on the kids she smiled and told me she wasn't cheap. I told her I didn't know her well enough to make that judgement yet but reminded her the night was young.

Then I started to pussy out and think of the HB7 that just played me for a fool for 8 months and wished she was there. I fell apart when my HB9 friend started acting weird and HB8 decided that we should try and make her feel better. Which brought down the mood and now we were a supportive friend setting. I stopped escalating and just backed off. Concert ends ask her to go get a drink and she bails.

Find another group of acquaintances with a group of 7 HB8's at the venue and convince everyone that it was time for a Nightcap. I asked my new line "If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, What circumstances would lead to that scenario?"

At this point we go into nonsense and we tease each other for the next hour or so pushing, pulling, and showing social proof. Talking great lengths about nothing.

One seems into me and buys me a shot, Wound up playing skiball and purposefully cheating/distracting her playfully. Kino Escalation. The group of 9 piles into a car and HB8 sits on my lap. I begin to escalate again in secret surrounded by 8 other people. Caress her back and pull her hair gently I hear her let out soft moans into my ear. We get back we start drinking whiskey at her place and act like nothing happened in the car. With the occasional knowing glance. Then I get sloppy. Started to lose frame and pussy out again. Manned up Invited her to the balcony and made out with her. We go back inside after a bit and my brain takes over again so rather then go into a downward spiral I start carving a pumpkin because I fucking love carving pumpkins. Spend an hour on it ignore her and try to not think about anything.

Decide that It was too soon for me to be banging someone new. Take her out on the porch again to tell her I was going home but inform her if it was any other night i'd love to carve pumpkins and keep her roomates up all night but it was 2 and I had work in the morning. She told me she wouldn't sleep with me that night. I reframed and told her that I was a gentleman and never sleep with someone unless they buy me dinner first. A man must have his standards. K Close.

Drunkenly walk back home (8 miles) Pass by ex's house of 2 days knock on door she sees me and total utter shock I ask to come in. Approach her kiss her deeply and say I have to go home and walk out.

My first FR. I'll be doing more.

My goals:

  • Lose my oneitis.
  • Lose my negative voice in my head that cockblocks me constantly.
  • Have 3-5 FWB at any given time and be honest about it.
  • Improve the quality of women I date.
  • Treat myself with respect.
  • Get over my hangups and be the man I know I am.
  • Get into daygame.

I'd like advice in the following:

I work at a uni and I am surrounded by young beautiful women. I am unsure if I should game there. Really want to but I'm afraid of the consequences.

I ultimately want a ltr but I really need to put myself first and get comfortable with my ability to properly f-close women. I still have anxiety. What is a good way that you squelch your self doubt.

Is it possible to maintain the image of dedication and love or is that just a social construct? I don't want to ?believe it is but I'm beginning to doubt my world view.

Thinking about going off masturbation and only coming during sex as a way to reframe my mindset and set up a reward structure. Carrot on a stick.

TL;DR: Oneitis Creeping in and cockblocking myself. One k close. One huge mistake.

Thanks for reading.

Edited for formatting.